Walk alongside me...

Social Media makes for an Avoidant Community

2012-02-07T23:36:00.000+08:00

Its not just Facebook or Twitter specifically. Its more of the whole digital age where we text, tweet, facebook, share, post. It is a world of fast paced uploading of current emotion like "oh look! I'm angry! Let's tweet about it!" or the mundane "this is what I just ordered for lunch! I even have a photo!" or "exactly where I am right now! Especially for my favourite stalker." It is a world in which we can Add our friends or Block them (if they so very much as make a comment we take offence to, or if we feel that relationship just isn't what we want anymore.)

We become detached, unaccustomed to the awkward need for great balls to face a problem and SOLVE IT (or at least bleed trying). It is so much easier to delete a friend from a contact list, pretend we didn't see a tweet or block them from all our online social spaces. It is with such elegant simplicity with which we ignore texts we don't feel like responding to (or those we claim we "don't know how to"), or let the phone ring when some EX-fb-friend comes calling. Let's face it. In a world of multi platforms for us to express ourselves, keep in touch with friends and ensure we are always Connected, we are in actuality slowly becoming hardened, superficial, self centred cowardly individuals who dare not even look eyeball-to-eyeball with a Friend and say "hey, we need to talk about something?" OF COURSE we run away! Isn't it? We spare ourselves the awkward silence, the uncertainty of how the other responses to confrontation. We flee feelings of discomfort since our fingers can do all the talking/clicking for us by deleting, blocking. For a community that increasingly vomits tweets and facebook posts by the millisecond, we often become SO inarticulate. Maybe it is because twitter gives u a meagre 140 Characters? Is that now the attention span of the brain capacity?

While we are presented with technology that serves as amazing tools placed in the hands of a craftsman, we need to ensure that these platforms are the tools we use to shape an outcome, rather than us being tools, unconsciously shaped by the tools we so hold and use. Instead of smiling politely to all your Followers and Friends then ranting in spurts of vulgarities because you only have a 140 characters to inarticulate yourself, learn to verbalise once more with your God-given vocal chords.If you have an issue, SPEAK UP. If you represent a cause, DECLARE IT. If you have something to say, SAY IT. (Of course it is preferred that your thought process surpasses the 140 Character limit and passes through your brain first. As much as we all LOVE to tweet, I assume we have much more than the brain of a bird.)

SO! Lovely avoident community we are all in the process of becoming, lets try to at least slow down that cart en route to downhill-dom shall we?

Crossroads

2011-05-07T15:46:00.001+08:00

It has yet to sink in completely (even while I'm typing this), but the long drawn 17 years of education has finally drawn to a close. It has only been 2 days, but the entire moments of freedom that I have been savouring makes the exams and studying all hazy and a blur right now. Awesome!

Now is the moment people have been talking about; what do u want to do with your life. what is next for you. are you sure about the direction you want to take. dont be idealistic. this is the real world.

Really! That is the JOY I'm received with as I exit the mostly dreary education of my life? Thanks guys! Im so psyched! haha.. Ok, I know people who have been in (what they call) the "Real World" have exprienced the ups and downs and so they say its not a bed of roses. I dont expect it to be either. I just wanna know who I am, and what God wants for me. So yes, I am not sorry of my replies; no, i still dont really know what i want to do with my life. I dont know what is next for me. I am definitely clueless about the direction I want to take. I am not idealistic, just searching. My world has always been real. Reality is subjective aint it? In sum, I'm still praying, and where God leads, I know He will provide :)

So now I simply tarry at the crossroad, pulling a chair to sit and think if I must. Dear God, it's me again :)

A False Memory

2011-05-06T11:17:00.002+08:00

Mesmerized I started. Then taking some paces in a trance. It was beautiful- the lush greenery and warm sunshine. Under a spell i let slip in a whisper "The Golden Country!"

unseen

2010-11-11T15:30:00.006+08:00

In this world, this life, we always seek for evidence. We look for substantiation to believe a theory, we judge others based on what we see, we are convinced by another as much as their proof renders. Besides the hard evidence, the rest are shelved under the category of coincidences.
We live in such a serious world.

The gloomy weather across these days depicts and yet encourages my spirit. I have been reminded that nothing is temporal; though nothing beautiful on this earth remains, neither does hurt nor pain. While every pitiful situation evokes an amount of suffering, through suffering there is hope, and after suffering comes victory.

Before gran's cremation, I kept picturing my uncle's cremation to mentally prepare myself for it. I told myself i will not cry and to be prepared that it would not be pretty. To my surprise, the circumstance allowed the experience to be a proper close to this chapter; from the elegance of the way it was handled, to the single butterfly that was fluttering in the room below us almost following the casket, to the gentle closing of the doors after the casket was slowly put into the hole in the wall. When i was asked about it, somehow i could not stop myself from thinking about the word beauty.

In my life thus far, i have experienced worry and peace, fear and peace, but never ever such sorrow and peace. I am not saying that this is evidence, but i am saying i feel and know that I am held by hands unseen.

Amazing Grace Lyrics

John Newton (1725-1807)
Stanza 6 anon.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

the Right thing to do

2010-04-27T00:03:00.004+08:00

the easy categorization of the self and everyone else
makes it easier to draw comparison
imperfection is a lack of effort
the decision deemed selfish

they say that in many things there are no right or wrong, but apparantly in most things there are..

Wonderland

2010-03-10T21:07:00.006+08:00

we all have that bit of it in us like Alice i guess.
As a child, we lived out our dreams , no inhibitions. We had the freedom to be mad because it was alright to be. Painting the roses red, dreaming of flying, talking to animals who wear clothes.

Then we began to grow up and the world started pressing us into the corner of realism, breaking those fantasies cos they dont support the life we've been living, or wouldnt feed the yet-to-be-established-family. Slowly that existence fades into a surreal irreality and we treat them as sweet dreams or perhaps nightmares.

Then one day we get a glimpse of that life of liberal madness again. That hope. Maybe..
BUT society has ingrained its perfect objective of pragmatism. Dreams?! Fantasy?! gibberish.

But u follow ur instincts and find yourself on a journey, an adventure. before you know it, you are fighting for your life just to keep that dream alive. It is now that you realise you cant afford to stop. Living your dream despite fighting the almighty monster out there or within u is definitely worth it all. The madness is too real too pleasing to the senses that have been surpressed for all these years of growing up.

You are now convinced and crawl out of that rabbit hole to enlighten others who are invisibly chained, trapped by their own minds like u were before. Dreams of ur childhood, not neccessarily mere castles in the clouds. You find new direction and you move on.

Are u mad? It would appear so. but all the special people in the world are :)

maybe all we need is the guts to be mad and go with our God given instincts.

im not saying we were born to be impulsive irrational being. but perhaps being over careful has misplaced us, chucking ourselves out of our own wonderland..

Dont Know Why I Have a Blog

2010-03-07T21:28:00.003+08:00

i remember hating the idea of a blog when it first started out. Like, why should everyone know whats going on in my life? Why should it be so public? (then again, inconsistent entries kill the blog and then this doesnt really matter anyways)
then, expressing myself. but why here? I do it in journals more effectively, or mayb when its important enough. So what is this for? mere random stuff that i may or may not ever look through again?

or mayb its just the desire to keep a record in case you ever wanna look back at random bits of your existence? maybe.. who knows..

Its when you try the hardest that you fail

2010-02-25T23:14:00.002+08:00

decided to try takin 151e from campus today since i saw it pass by my area recently. Wanted to see if it was really an express bus. Just when i realized there was barely any time difference, i pressed the bell and the bus driver merely looked up and drove on.

stopped when it did, somewhere in hougang. sat at the bus stop to finish up the game i was playing on my device, crossed the overhead bridge and waited for what seemed like eternity before the bus came. gave me time to think and feel so lost even though i was 5mins away from home.

as if to mock me, the moment i got off the bus and headed home, 151 stopped across the road.... so much for reachin home early.

its kinda depressing to know that often things in life are as such. either due to an act of impulse or false instinct and it leads you on some wild goose chase or leaves u disappointed..

SPEAKing of which..

2009-09-08T23:52:00.005+08:00

today i realized something i do every now and then and i guess it was kind of subconscious till now. certain self realizations are hilarious.

the best conservations i have are those i've held with myself.

haha! nut case? vielleicht. but that's what happens when you desire to practice speaking in a foreign language to someone while studying for a vocabulary test and test if you can still spontaneously speak, but have no one around you. LOL.

Missing

2009-07-23T22:00:00.006+08:00

Sometimes I look at shots of the journeys and I ask myself if it were all a dream,
my past existence slowly fading into just memories that leave no physical scent to be savoured...

London 16th-23rd May 2009

2009-07-01T16:35:00.015+08:00

working haphazardly cos im lazy to reorg...am I in paradise? ;) went to Portebello markt on the final day since we had an evening flight and insufficient time to do anything else.

Glass roof of the British museum. Isnt the sky lovely?
The flag used to act as a symbol that there was a play going on so pple all over the other side of the river Thames would hop over to watch plays and feed their curiosity as to what really lay beyond the opaque walls of the globe theatre. Theatres were stigma-ed as bad naughty places in the past...
timeline of when Shakespeare wrote what and when :)
does this look familiar? :)
The view made the climb worth it all :) THE CLIMB led us to the royal observatory. Cool place :) Here we stood with half our body in the eastern and the other half in the western hemisphere.

In some stairwell :)

we climbed the top of st. paul's cathedral :D (the only place we were allowed to take photos :( the inside was extreme. To sit in the whispering gallery alone was phenomenal. I'd give much to be able to just go back inside)

the national gallery ( at trafalgar square; aka best playground of our trip?) ;P

Birdseye view from the London eye
unglamly pushed up the first block cos it was too high to be climbed :P so we made the most of it
:) we were thirsty??
fountain outside the national gallery :)
after being hoisted up to the first level, we began our climb ;)
our first encounter with the traditional london bus! the new ones look similar but much more modern.
Cranny of the tower of london. Loved the way this place was so vast and had so many towers with so many different stories in history being told to us. It was so educational and yet didnt exactly feel like it. The actors and the setting just made it feel like one amazing adventure :)
look in the barral and u see a man being drowned..

too dark, but that is the britain's flag at tower of London (my fave attraction of the trip?)
... without which we would have died cos mum and I did not use the buses as frequently.

Shot of us with tower bridge in the background.
and we went ON tower bridge later on too :) sadly the upper part of the bridge was closed due to the number of suicides that took place up there :/
yet another shot of tower bridge :) this time we were on the city cruise that streamed down the Thames.Lunch at one of their restaurant pubs. Very very decent and cosy place.
Looking out from the suite's lounge cos it was too early to go anywhere or do anything :) we landed at 5am local time.
Sheltering from the rain at London bridge; which brought us to this sweet crack of a place appearing out of nowhere :)

Close to this tower thingy is where I satisfied my craving for my caramel macchiato. felt soooo gd :)
The street along which mum & I put up for the 6 nights :) couldnt love it more.
Now we know what it feels like to get locked up in a tower looking at everything going on below from behind window grills.
looks even more mysterious when u are there :)

Finding our way... Instincts were close to never right ;) but walking the streets were just as cool.
Ivana and I on the London eye :)

one of the very few group shots we had throughout the trip (at navy memorial site). Super gothic. Couldnt help but just stand in awe of the place.
Mum & I having breakfast in the park (of the navy memorial place) enjoying the COLD of the morning :) so LOVE the cold!
See how the London eye looks like some puzzle in parts?
Caught Wicked;the musical here. simply FATASTIC!!! Never heard such powerful voices nor witnessed such good acting. It was magical :)

If Pictures speak a 1000 words then what do 1000 pictures say? ;)
Wanna guess how many photos i took? it starts with a 2 and has 4 digits :D
haha that's what happens when u go crazy! want to make a video, wanna scrapbook, wanna print all the photos though many turned out crappy cos i took it in a rush. hmmm..

My very 1st attempt :X

2009-06-07T02:12:00.003+08:00

Yeah, so my blog has been dead. what's new? heheh..
ANYWHO! So my mum wanted me to help her do a publicity video rite? and this was what became of it (it is for rangers-those who still dont know, the uniform grp thing my church has =) its my 1st time and i guess i wont make a gd video maker cos im not a perfectionist :D well, if u cant stand the flaws in the video, sorry but GET OVR IT ok? hahahha.. its not life and death. but of course, tell me u cant stand it and i'll try to improve on it before whatever deadline :P

Feeling...

2009-03-29T15:33:00.004+08:00

Good cos praise and worship was great today.
Happy cos I got to see my cousins today for "qing ming" though it was only for a while
Satisfied cos despite the work load, todays has been an interesting day
Warm and fuzzy inside cos some things just make u feel that way :)
Nostalgic cos I always tend to feel this way when im experiencing all those other emotions ;)
Contented cos life can be so beautiful sometimes if we just let it be moulded by God
Surprised to be caught unexpectedly and asked to do unexpected things out of the blue
EXCITED and adventurous *CDQ u know why! im SooooooooooO excited!*
Peaceful cos its literally peaceful at my place right now
Thankful cos in May a dream's coming true
Cool cos the weather is beautifully gloomy (yes. I simply LOVE a storm brewing above!)
Expectent! cos heaven's floodgates are about to swing right open any moment soon (starts vibrating in my seat like hammy the squirrel) :)

In a mood to think
In a mood to cry
In a mood to just let things pass by

Still

In a mood to get things done
(as if I had a choice)
In a mood to have some real good fun

It's interesting how im feeling all these in one moment. Not that I seldom feel this way. There are many days that I do. But it's never been given form through words or speech. aahhh... :)

doodle on kids! :)

2009-03-17T20:06:00.004+08:00

another article where we can all go back to the primary and secondary school teachers and say "IN YOUR FACE!!" hurhur..

doodling good for ones memory and not necessarily a distraction :)

check this link out:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7912671.stm

Cheers! :)

Learnt Nakedness

2009-03-04T20:40:00.002+08:00

and they say shame was learnt (and can as such be unlearnt).
In my opinion, shame is inherent and shamelessness is what many are trying to learn thanks to this world that we live in.
ask adam and eve...

The moment of indecision

2009-02-24T09:33:00.002+08:00

"Pure reason is a disease"

Check this out: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7905536.stm

talk about what we learn in psych...

Solace

2009-02-13T00:25:00.008+08:00

When it had all been said and done, and with her burdens still worn heavy upon her back, she found her way to that place from before. A place she knew to be constant, not as fickle as the world was and is and seemed to always will be.

Entering through some doors, she wandered down the aisle towards the vast emptiness of the large hall. Breathing in the stagnant air, her heart felt heavier with each step, taking in breath after breath of lifeless still air. Suffocated. Not another sense aroused but lost, grief and pain. An internal pain that not even tears could express or words give form. The unexplainable torment that risked being entirely undermined if spoken aloud. It was not worth another tear or another word. As if in a trance, she endlessly moved forward till she found herself on her knees on some carpeting. Taken by surprise, tiny murmurs and silent weeping found themselves to her consciousness. Suddenly a lively warmth in the stuffy room took over and the crying the room seemed to be one of empathy and of similar grief. The floodgates were opened as her tears streamed down her cheeks unceasingly. Not knowing what she was crying for or even for whom, she wept and wept shaking uncontrollably. With each cry the pain released.. With each whimper, her pain dissolved. With each sob all guilt vanished. And the tears ceased not to fall; for all the transgressions, for all the hurts, for all the shame and disappointment of 10 years past.

A long time had unknowingly passed. The hall had emptied out as if there had been no one from the start.All felt foggy and unclear. Feeling weak and drained from pouring out, she stood to her feet realizing that at some point she must have lain on the ground. Staggering to the front row, she plopped down for a moment to rest. After all these years of seeking and apparent finding, she had truly found herself again. In the hall she found a sacred place; a place beyond nought bringing healing to the soul, a place for the weary and the weak, a place for the down and out.

After a moment, the awareness of something missing arose. The stone in her heart she had borne across all the years was gone. Vanished. Gratefully unaccustomed to the feel she strolled out of the crossed wooden doors of the hall disbelievingly with quiet thanksgiving. The fresh evening air kissed her skin, arousing and heightening each sensation. With relief and satisfaction of sorts she shed a tear of joy as she strolled on. It had been a miracle that she had even found herself in that place; that place of solace.

-End-

Touchy Issues

2009-01-23T00:12:00.002+08:00

Just a thought:

What is that ONE thing that touches your heart inside and out?

hmmm?...

And With This, 2008 Draws to a Close =)

2008-12-31T15:11:00.009+08:00

UCDQ, you told me to review my year correct? For a person who likes to frequently reflect, it seems impossible to summarise all reflections into one. But i will try :D hahaha.. and this is the mess from up there to down here to wherever for du und others to read :)

Praise the Lord for a great year (as with every year)! indeed every year is special, bearing different experiences, lessons and new or stronger bonds being established. This year has not been an exception.

For starters, I worked for the FIRST TIME in my life this year! Yipee right? (hmmm.. ;) I must admit I was intimidated and fell numerous times, feeling lost and uncertain as I felt press to make decisions about the far future when it was not due yet. I was overwhelmed by self expectations, telling myself I have to learn to be perfect. In summary, it became a NIGHTMARE. For once, dealing with people grew to be a chore and I was wondering who I might become. But praise the Lord! Through it all experiences and all 3 jobs, it all ended on a good note, and He taught me much through my parents, friends and through my devotional time. He has proven to be with me through the sweet dreams, (and as mentioned) the nightmares :D Although the end of the year has come, I must say some things still haunt me (as some of you would know). But I believe it all happened for a reason. And who knows, maybe it is my personal giant to be conquered when the time is right.

Ok next! Who can forget A’level results day right? Well, I almost did. Haha.. (This year was split into so many portions, it feel like 4 years or something) Praise the Lord for good results. As I have told many, the results were and ARE really not my own. I just pray that it can be used as a testimony that encourages others. In the course of all the examinations a student in singapore has to sit for, this was my FIRST TIME really depending on God, losing sight of the paper and just focusing on giving my best. When I prayed “Lord, this paper is Yours”, I really meant it and it was not a standard prayer we prayed after mugging our heads off. And glory to Him!! He blessed when I expected not to be :)

And then, The beginning of Uni. For those of you who might remember, I was SO not looking forward to this! Hahaha.. well, that’s behind me now :) Talking about FIRST TIME …. This was my FIRST TIME traveling to school on my own, FIRST TIME having school be more then zero mrt stops from home, FIRST TIME in a university (obviously). Well, I did it didn’t I? :D hurhurhur.. so no talk about me being spoilt ok? OR ELSE!! (WAHAHhaha..) *GRINS* well, for results, I personally don’t think I did very well. I have no idea where I stand amongst everyone else. But it’s ok! Grades are just a tiny speck in the big scheme of life :) Aren’t we all glad our salvation is not based on exam results? (obviously God is not Singaporean. HEEHEE…)

What’s next what’s next…

Oh yes, becoming a junior commander. I must say, I miss being an ER a lot! Like, I went for exam break for almost the whole of 2007 and before I can go back to “meet” them all again, I am thrown upwards, never to get back to be an ER. Frankly, that was tough. Hmm.. But I really thank God that I was able to continue joining them for a couple of activities. Through many of you guys, I have realized what friendship and having fun really is about. Know the kind of relationship where everyone is cordial, quiet and simply polite? The kind where everyone knows each other’s names but know anything about anyone? The kind that seems socially perfect but is empty underneath the surface? That is my idea of a living nightmare. And you guys are ANYTHING but that (thank God! :D) haha.. As a whole, I thank you all for the many fun times and retarded moments that leaves me… *speechless* (if not, slowly retarding to your various levels)… hahahha.. It has really been an honour serving alongside you all during the mission trip, and I must say that what happened there was phenomenal. I pray that we will never let the fire of God and the passion for His people within us die out. You all are lovely, lovable and loved (by mua of course) :)

Year 2008 also brought much pleasant surprises that were packaged in so many different ways. So many things so I’ll do it in point form…

GRATEFUL: That A4 still continues to meet up though many have told me JC friends usually don’t last very long (IN UR FACE! :O HAHA…) you all are really the rarest of jewels in my life. Each of you so unique and irreplaceable. Though class outings are never with perfect attendance, I am still thrilled that we remain in tact always.

EVER THANKFUL: For being able to know pple like UCDQ more and find true love and friendship in du! (I treasure you always! And if I ever forget (which I wont) snowbank will remind me) 8Dimension!! Ich liebe dich und tokio hotel naturalich :D

APPRECIATE: The lesson of confrontation in friendships (through u wan!) haha.. It has never been like this with friends, but it shows what are the things we can talk about and the level our friendship can be brought to yes?

WILL NEVER FORGET: The trips to starbucks with you precious dears (brenny, steffi wooonded, ucdq, anjax (tho not always) and u tortoise! :) ) at the memorable branch that we frequent, so many new memories have been carved this year. Which I am so so grateful (and often entertained by) for :D hahah.. what will I do without u all..
JOYOUS: That the many of you whom I know are pursuing your dreams, and constantly discovering who u are. It is truly beautiful..

Well, that is probably not all, but I will move on. So many things to thank God for! :)

Time to thanks give for the recent. MISSION TRIP 2008 to the PHILIPPINES!! Preparation started in fear and trembling when I didn’t know what to expect though I knew it was going to be awesome and God so definitely has a plan! Through the rushed moments of preparing and slowly building up with much prayer and sharing, it was amazing how God proved Himself to be real and faithful. Praise Him for that. While there, this one paragraph cannot sufficiently give thanks enough for God seeing us through every activity; from holding the rain that could potentially ruin a meeting, to giving me courage to preach. For the first time, I really knew what God wanted me to share and was more then happy to do so (though still slightly nervous). But when I prayed and called out to Him, He answered! Indeed, our God is an awesome God =)

Following Philippines was our family trip to Japan. Thank God for the journey mercies! I am glad I got to experience what Japan is like. Never thought of desiring to go there and SO didn’t know what to expect. I knew nothing about their culture and next to nothing about the Japanese language. But we still had our fair share of cultural exposure and fun. Gotta love them theme parks!! Hahaha.. (esp the roller coasters?) Well, met nicky and family there (which made it such a good time) and cos of nicky, I enjoyed the rides so much more. For once, I was not queuing up for and riding rides alone! :D It was plain awesome. I think I’ll never have enough of themeparks!! :P Also super happy that our family got to spend time together, away from the distractions of sg. Nothing beats family time and nothing beats the freezing cold weather of wintertime! Thanks to mummy, we had all kinds of food for our various meals and it was delicious! Hehe.. who would have thought the Koh family would go supermarketing and mummy would cook up a storm in her room with an induction cooker?! (now I see all the nodding heads of people who can totally picture it) hurhur.. :)

Ok, I have gone on looong enough.. ‘Tis all for now. Isn’t God amazing? A “short year” of only slightly below 400 days and He brings us on a journey that makes a year seem like a lifetime ;) At times it is dreary, but at others, its full of surprises, lessons to be learnt, and beauty surrounds us (in the people & the world all around). It has been a great year and I believe 2009 will likewise be supertastic! (in its own unique way).

Mit wärmsten Wünschen,

Anthea

Tschüss! :) :) :)

what to share what to share...

2008-12-01T12:08:00.002+08:00

Mission trip is coming quicker then you can say "AH"! There is this silent excitement of the knowledge that something awesome is going to happen, yet there is a sense of "too many things to do too little time".

Man. Talk about a half an hour sermon! I've nerver talked for 30minutes none stop in my life! heh.. Im just wondering how pastors can preach for 45mins (without interpretation) that is centred around 3 points when I can imagine myself barely hitting 15-20mins. hurhur...

Anyways, we really gotta pray up. I think in the past we learnt to pray but we did not really "have to" depend wholly on God cos Thailand was a really a different experience- lots of fun and games, really comfortable accomodation: condidering it was a mission trip, and definitely lots of certainty. This time around, everything is tentative and plans keep changing. Well, it is not nerve wrecking but it does tinkle the nerves a lil bit. Like, being split up on occasions and all that. Definitely a very different experience.

Till then! :)

Satisfaction to me...

2008-11-19T14:38:00.002+08:00

Satisfaction is sitting somewhere cheerful and peaceful away from the crowds,
having this peace within myself despite knowing my life isnt perfect.

Satisfaction is being able to feel happiness and bliss despite the oncoming exams,
being in an environment of Christmas cheer in such a time.

Satisfaction is an emotion that has to be experienced and cannot be fully described.

Satisfaction is this still serenity which is what i am feeling now somehow :)

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

2008-11-16T21:41:00.003+08:00

Sometimes there are moments of mild activity that causes me to ponder about what i really want in life. Maybe it is just the flu getting to me or something (hurhur..)

Anyways, back to my title.

This year seems to have been a lot about that. First Conrad having to be away at hostel for the whole year, and now elliot and daddy being in china for overseas cip. it is so empty without a part of the family around... indeed absence makes the heart grow fonder. Sigh.. not much mood to type, so chao!~

Superman fell sick...

2008-11-12T01:43:00.004+08:00

2 days back, Superman fell sick
It was as if he fell out of the sky
The strong almighty unknockable Superman.
Then I realised we are all human, even you.
Get well soon daddy :)

Thanksgiving.

2008-11-04T22:13:00.003+08:00

No UCDQ! not FANGsgiving. :D hahaha.. still cant believe that was a joke. hoho..

WELL!!

It's funny how sociology tutorials can have the most awesome bunch of people because people all just seem to feel at ease being themselves. No one is trying to be a smarty pants, no one is trying to be someone he/she is not, no one is trying to just stand out from the crowd, and yet a variety of people coexist for those 2 hours every even week of term. It's really nice and actually slightly sweet (for the lack of a better adjective).

Semester 1 has started and now, has quickly bulleted to an end. How fast time flies. They say semester 2 will drag like forever. is that true? well, we wont know till we go through it and it is best to keep an open mind right? :) looking back over these past few months (that have zoomed by faster then you could say "ZOOM") i'm really thankful. Thinking about how aprehensively i begun the semester. telling myself, this is bound to get me down sooner or later. looked to me like i started on a very bad note. There was so much hesitation, apprehension, skepticism. well, that's mostly gone i think. This semester has been lots of fun! well, i love people and its always wonderful to meet an array of characters. sure there were one or two freaky moments! but the happier times brush those away with much ease :)

So yes! am really thankful that God has been able to turn that pessimistic (unlike my usual self) me, and show me what keeping an open mind and heart can do for a person. Really. This is the first time in my life I've got to "mit dem Bus fahren jeden Tag!!!". go translate that if you like. hahha.. hey! come to think of it, i got so caught up in enjoying the subjects i am taking (with the exception of one) i forgot what i felt at the very beginning. isnt it great to forget at times? haha :) im really grateful. ahh..

on a silly sidenote, im actually trying to wish myself into yesterday's starbucks again just to feel the cosy and tingly happiness. but it is not working!! haha.. looks like i've gotta find myself there again sometime soon :) :) :) :)

okie dokie, thats all fϋr now folks! tchϋss dann!!

Christmas!! meltzz

2008-11-03T13:19:00.011+08:00

Just had to post this before i go back to finalising my philosophy paper.

ahhh... Christmas music gently filling the air, simple reds and greens tinting the place, snowflake prints and red cups filled with joy. aww.. Im so glad it's coming to that time of the year again. Am in starbucks now and taking in the sight, sounds, smells and taste.. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) this reminds me of why we had such sweet times studying in starbucks in nov last year. well, at least i did. not sure bout the rest ;)

I've always loved Christmas for the array of things it is representative of. but since last year, the love for it was severe! im not exaggerating. it was literally like a disease that infected my entire being. the family gatherings, the services on Christ's birth, the remembrance of the snow we enjoyed that year with aunty chor kee and family, the Christmas tree standing in our front yard till chinese new year came, the friends showing their love through cards sent by snail mail..... EVERYTHING! I guess what i love about Christmas in generally that it is a a sort of symbol of lovein various ways. ahh... so so happy.

alrite, i shall sit here mugging and melting at the same time :) HEE..

an upward view

2008-10-26T21:58:00.003+08:00

ever sat down low below the ceiling, throwing your head back just to watch the world play on above? i was doing that just now while sitting on the bus from sentosa to harbourfront. it felt nice and relaxing in a unique way.

know how we often perceive many things in one way? after a while, there are days where things seem largely mundane and way too predictable. well, alternatives are refreshing. (not that we should all literally look at the world upwards, but rather, pay attention to the special things around us) It helps us see the exact same thing in various angles that then help us realise the beauty of what surrounds us. looking upwards to the skies, watching the world up there pass by.hmmm...

Just days like these...

2008-10-21T15:07:00.003+08:00

It's just on days like these that you realise you have lost the fighting spirit.
The exhaution of finding joy in the things of the past.
Something that was so essentially you and now it is gone.
Your willingness to let go surprises yourself,
and you wonder who you have become.

these days have been kinda weird. like, the constant waking up at the start of the day, feeling the tiredness as if it were the end instead. Sleep clouded with a myriad of dreams, nothing in particular. nothing significant even! just an active mind i guess. then instead of the usual ponders and simple joys, moments reel on, speeding towards the end and before i blink, its time to crawl into bed again. oh boy.. what a terrible way to go through day(s). think i might be coming down with something. hopefully not. then it'll pass soon.

not that i have even been a fighter. but today i have just realised my willingness to let go of something that is so inherently me. like, in these moments of tiredness u just stare blank, draw in a deeeeep breath, and go "oh well.. not like i can or (at the moment) want to do anything about this right now." so not me. i guess, in reflecting on all of this, i'd rather feel sadness, pain, confusion and provoked rather then indifferent. it pulls an air of dehumanisation and desensatisation that is honestly, quite scary.

haha.. no wonder i insisted on my 8 hours of sleep right? HEE... but i have not been taking my own advice. so mmuch to do... so little time... (as opposed to Garfield's "so much time... so little to do...") silly orange cat! :D hahaha..

untitled

2008-10-21T00:01:00.003+08:00

nein! i am not labeling this post as untitled because my emotions cannot be sypnopsised (if this word exists) into a one liner.. it is lieterally untitled cos i am not in the mood to title it or for any matter in the mood to write. just feel like blogging suddenly before my blog dies another natural death :D haha..

actually it IS dead :P ah wells.. its like writing into the memory hole (1984) or something.

yesterday we went to continue our Biennale "tour". The place was not as interesting as the first though. There were some really interesting ones but to me, the emotions and artist intention did not come out as clearly as the ones at the city hall exhibit. mayb its just me.. (and the heat!) Regardless, we still had our share of fun (despite the rain). UCDQ kept trying to creep me out with the strange nooks and crannies here and there. seriously, the oldness of the place makes it quite creepy. have not uploaded my photos from my camera so no pictures this time...

the problem when i blog without intention is... its real scatter brain like. ha!

today went to the cathay to support wan's friends who were auditioning at ben and jerry's. there was this girl that sang so well! but a pity, she didnt have a world of people who were there just for her. so the juxtaposition between her duo and wan's friends' band's support was really stark and probably discouraging for her. but char jean and i decided to wait and listen. and oh my gosh! what a sweet voice! it was really pleasant :) then i dared UCDQ to tell the girl she sang well as an encouragement. but instead, that dodo looked at her and laughed in HER FACE! i was like, oh no.. but of course, she said it in the end.. *phew* nice friendly sweet girl.UCDQ is like the most unique, weird, strange, interessant und kuku friend i have! hahahaha.. its a compliment! :) :)

to end off on a complete random and literal statement.......

i am happy :)

Wiki my new friend...

2008-10-08T19:19:00.001+08:00

talk about lack of time and trying to do all your readings in one day?
IMPOSSIBLE!
I realise quick searches on wiki answer my questions instantaneously! haha.. ok, of course it is insufficient, but i think it is a great starting point.

Just when i was stressed about having 2 papers tmr and german the day after! I looked into the school email and wala! my philo paper draft 1 back. disappointing, and i feel rather stupid. oh wells, time to get some brains anthea!! man.

alrite, no time for all those unhelpful feelings right now. I've got 3 papers to study for! ironically, german counts to my end grade cos i have no final paper, but i can only start studyin for it tmr! God save me. I really wanna be good at the things i do. but time doesnt permit me to do as much as i wish, or at least let me feel i've done an average amount.

shivers

2008-10-02T13:36:00.003+08:00

How after all these years this still happens,
its sends shivers down my spine.
The constant fear of punishment
That is potentially mine.
The look, that sound, the pain that cuts
nothing new. nothing physical.

It cuts deeper then the skin
burns into my soul
the quick 2 second frustration
blasts through me this great hole.
Then i sit there angry, hurt and frustrated.
Bordering that familiar dangerous hatred.

Oh well, in a day it's gone... again.

Biennale 2008

2008-09-30T17:36:00.006+08:00

Keeping whatever i have to say in my head. Just enjoy the pictures :D and if u can, GO DOWN AND CHECK IT OUT! :) :) :) there is so much in the experience that i feel cannot be captured by camera. and to make it worse, im not a good photographer. in my opinion, it was just plain awesome that's all. heeee...

Divine Intervention...

2008-09-30T17:34:00.003+08:00

This is what i call divine intervention.

Had a loooong reflective post to get something off my chest, but it was "a lil" mean. Guess what? I highlighted it and *poof* it was gone. hahaha..

some things are just not worth being on a blog to be rmbred forever :D

Too much la u!

2008-09-23T13:50:00.002+08:00

Anthea is jus too much!
So much to do and yet she's here.
Mental Constipation.
Yikes!
How to format and express what she has to say.
How to come up with a logical flow to bring across her point.

Shoots! Everything in her pia matter is rot.
Climbing the mountain slowly,
so far from the submit.

Obviously her thought aren't workin out properly.
Caesurated.
Bish!
Her brain that went on holiday never came back :p

Where to go from here.

2008-09-22T01:32:00.003+08:00

Today has been an interesting, draining as well as refreshing one all at the same time.

I realise, i'm not the only one going through this.
I realise, there is at least one feeling the way i feel.
I realise, i'm not the only dehumanizing one.
I realise, i'm not alone.

Ok, its less severe then it sounds i think. Well, it has just been occuring to me time and again- about identity. Like, how a fabulous phase of life has come and gone, and up ahead is still unchartered ground, waiting to be journeyed. Then when we see that we hav to step out of our comfort phase, we hesitate cos we were and ARE still having the time of our lives, relishing every moment that we can. Why would any logical mind choose to move forward? Especially when the path ahead is foggy and uncertain.

But then, we realise that its only when u pluck up the courage and walk on, trusting that amidst the fog, beyond the fright, God is there every inching footstep of the way, that the next phase can be even more brilliant then the previous one.

Well, i have not experienced that brilliance, but i believe it is installed somewhere in that tentative future. All we need sometimes, really, is faith and trust that God WILL pull us through. These weeks have been draining ones and it reflects in the number of entries in THE BOOK.hahah! ah wells..

Learning with every stride i take... Something great is impending, i jus know it- for all of us.

Quick check in

2008-09-13T13:31:00.003+08:00

So this week has been quite crazy. emotionally somehow. I have loads of stuff to do but not exactly in the mood, so i kinda drifted here. hmmm... Got a vocabulary test next week and i've barely begun the revision. Again, im learning to spell and all. Just that this time, its not a '10-words-a-week' kinda list. It is like 2 chapters worth of words in a day kinda thing. AND! German gives gender to its nouns. So funny stories are on reeling in my head to help me remember which nouns are feminine, masculine and neuter. Dont get me wrong, im lovin it! haha..

In fact, the only module i dont love (ok, understatement. i hate it!) is IT. but whatever. dont wanna complain since it wont change anything :)

the past few days have been like walking through a mini whirlwind. enough to shake and spin me upsidedown, but not strong enough to ruin me. It's not that bad really. Just gotta learn to feel less and move on more. In fact, its in times like these that i thank God i have emotions. they help me reflect more once again and lead me to writing which i have not exactly done for a while. also, they remind me that we are human and all these things are just part and parcel of our entire experience on this journey.

oh yes! i just watched the class video and the video that grace made for us again :) :) haha.. it never gets old. seriously :) im so so happy ms k forced the class video on us. It has preserved so much. But of course, she knew what she was doing- as usual.

ok, dun really wanna say anything else more. tata! :)

Uni life thus FAR... ;p

2008-09-09T17:28:00.003+08:00

Ok, so i didnt blog in augest. OH well... haha..

Pple who have told me that uni would be a breeze?... hmmm.... I am still waitin for that gentle gale to touch me. Ok, no doubt we no longer have to rise at 6am (or at least I dont have to) and go for morning assemblies and stuff. but travelling is SO draining! let me lament for a while k? after all, i've never travelled to school on my own much less travel for an hour plus every day just to get to school. heh! wed's are the most ridiculous since i travel all the way for only one hour of IT tutorial. quite silly huh? oh wells, im cool with it- RELATIVELY.

So yes. My most interesting lesson would prolly be Deutsch. Its like going back to kindergarten and learning the ABCs once again. NO, not that it is 'as easy as ABC and 123'... I am literally learning the german alphabet! hahaha.. how to say good morning, good evening... how to ask after a person u meet on the streets, how to order drinks and call for the bill, how to pronounce the words with umluts on top of em. Its crazy kinda fun. haha.. though the amount we are expected to rmbr seems quite steep. but we will get there i guess :)

Well, uni is ok.. but there is so much to do and not much of a timeline to follow. any attempt to draw up a timeline jus reduces me to a puddle of fatigue and stress. Need to learnt o trust God more. seriously. at the moment all i see are piles and piles of work that build emselves up to mountains and i am a tiny mountaineer, barely reaching base camp. so sad! haha.. ah wells..

oh yeah, charlene: thanks for the songs and stuff. addictive!! hopefully it improves my pronunciation and vocabulary. though i must admit the songs just play on eternal repeat in my mind that it begins to scare me a lil :D :D :D cant get it out of my head!

On a random note to end... Know about the monday blues? monday happens to be the best day of my week: NO SCHULE!! :D yay! but of course, it then gets dedicated to mountain climbing :p ah wells, at least i get to study with char and jean every week. for that i am super grateful already.

alritey, that's all folks ( if there are still remnants of u)... if not, bye wall!
Tschüs!

On my mind...

2008-07-20T22:11:00.004+08:00

Something feels absent and missing in my life. Am I drifting too far off? Losing who I am and who I should be? Becoming another individual? Sometimes it feels so good and so right, then the same awful questioning comes back, leading me to the realisation that the lack is still present. God save me.

Just some photos =) ISN'T CONRAD SUPER CUTE!! hahah..

If the world were one country...

2008-07-03T22:07:00.003+08:00

If the world were one country
I'd travel everyday..
In all of places were one place
I'll explore every space..-
going wherever I wish i may...
every other day.
to distant places
farther and farther away...

DONT ask me why that is there. It was suppose to be in prose.

Anyways, trying to get myself to australia and in just one hour or so, i realised how difficult it is to surf the net and try to get things done. quite a frustration actually. mum says to look at the papers instead. and mayb i will! (ps:/ all the tension and undermining of my pia matter is totally unnecessary. thank you bery much) i'm new to this! cant expect much right? ok, *thinks* keep the neutral, non-emotion pumped tone.

ok, so! where should i go? what should i do? honestly? I just want to shop and shop and shop, then take pictures and take more pictures and take even more pictures. Come on! of all the places I've been to and all the things i've ever done overseas, the 3 main things are theme park rides, sight seeing and shopping. But having to BE on a tour for security reasons, i'm not so sure as to what kind of tour would just put me in a mall (that does not hold the King of kings of prices) and dump me on the beach afterwards.

oh well.. mayb i will not reach australia after all. after this one hour, suddenly the excitement of all the possibilities seem to fade before my eyes and that reality grows cold and becomes 2-D

haha!

we'll see how it goes la. but i really hope i get to go somehow....

later alligators! =)

Too Long...

2008-06-30T19:07:00.005+08:00

It's been super long since the last time i updated. and yes, a million have complained about seeing the words 'work work work' till they are completely sianzed already.

The horrid thing is I always try to post when I have nothing to do, and it turns out nothing much is being posted. Anyways, went to bintan last last weekend. and I have to say that i love that place. the heat is fine, the sand is great, the view was wonderful and the company was of course excellent. thanks to the mummies who are such great cooks, we had delicious food all the way =) hanging out as a family was awesome. thank God for the not-as-humid-as-singapore kind of weather. I actually loved and enjoyed the beach super much as a result.

Thank God for the safe trip and the wonderful time.

This is my last week of work! hurray!! then it's official slacking all the way. who wants to go australia with me? i'm hoping to go with just one two people in mid july. if not, MAY go alone. (but may not come back alive) hahaha..
and to end off, photos!! hehe..

Gooday and God bless! =)

Beautiful reception area that we were dropped at before taking the buggy to our villa.

Breakfast at the Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal.

On the ferry heading for Bintan.. aunts, uncle, cousins, friend, bro..

Dad and I just after landing at Bintan.

Nickky and I at the reception area after the dancers did their cute tamborine welcome dance.

All to the beach!!

Elliot starting to dig..

Dig dig dig...

Bennet buried.. ha!

Stormy weather that came in a flash. Literally, but I couldn't capture it =(

That's all for now. Will be back in the next century! ha! =)

work work work...

2008-03-26T11:13:00.002+08:00

Isn't that what most people do their entire lives? We work hard in pri sch to get to a good sec sch. Then we work hard to get to a good college. then again to try to secure a place in a university, in a course that hopefully we prefer. Then, we work hard to get a good job. But that's not the end! we work hard to sustain that position in that job, or to climb higher, etc etc etc.

Recently, I've been pondering about what I wanna do in the future cos quite frankly, its been a question I've been putting off all my life. ha! and now, there is almost no more escaping. What do we want with our lives? can our future career really enhance that desire? or will it alternatively crush that goal, dream and hope. Where do we draw the line between being idealistic and realistic. Is it REALLY unrealistic to have ideals?

At this point, I'm torn between doing what I always thought would be interesting, and what I think i really really like. Psyc is something i feel would be interesting, but I really like lit. Yet, I have never been good at lit and the A levels have only been a one off thing where I did well. Then of course, the oh so familiar question comes from all around me: "what do you wanna do in the future anyways?" I DONT KNOW! heh. Counselor? Clinical Psychologist? Journalist? Teacher?

I know we shouldn't fret about our future because it is in God's hands. It's just that when you are pressed to make a decision which leads to something in the future, it gets so difficult. Sometimes, I think I should just to a double major and see what i wanna do next time. but i dont even know what are the implications of THAT. it's so frustrating and worrying. yet, I've been stuck with this question for so long, I don't feel anything anymore. heh. Hopefully I get into nus. Then I can take another year to try and decide.

Anyways, I dont know how I got to that topic. off to meet steffi and jean for lunch, then rakky for tea, then jm for dinner. what an exciting day ahead! PLUS I've been having breakfast with my mummy everyday! how wonderful is that? makes me not wanna work anymore hahaha.. but that wouldn't be "normal" would it? we were destined to work our butts off! haha.. kiddin kiddin. plus me moolah ish runnin low....... that's super bad. haha.. alrite, ciao for now! =)

Praise the Lord

2008-03-09T22:26:00.002+08:00

Here to post my testimony :)

As you all know, A level results came out on friday. It was a really interesting emotional experience. As usual, we all have cold feet at one point or another. It might be months before the results, moments before, AT THE POINT of the slip being slipped into your hands, etc etc.. Well, for me it was on and off. God kept reminding me, saying 'you've trusted me throughout your entire course of study and through all the papers. so why fret over the results when all the papers are in my hands?'

So logical and so so true! so that kinda calmed the nerves. The point of receiving the results wasn't a screaming and tears of joy session either. somehow, in my heart, i knew completely that it wasn't by my might that I got those grades. come on! seriously! if you knew what kind of student I was and the grades I have been getting through out my entire JC life, you'd understand why my parents are so concerned and at times, fretting too :D haha.. God is amazing. Interesting how our weakness can really be made perfect in His strength ya?

so PRAISE THE LORD!! All things are possible through Him!

Wanna congratulate all those who did so well and improved leaps and bounds too :) even for those who didn't "meet the mark" in your own individual definitions, well done! I think all of us should be thankful that we survived the entire experience and at least we pulled through to the end! the question that keeps coming back is, "what now?". Well, i believe God has a plan. that's where our entire security lies yeah? who else knows our future better but the one who drafted it!

Once again, praise be to God and ALL glory to His name and His alone! =)

Precious Moments..

2008-02-21T21:54:00.007+08:00

Violence is Key! wahaha!

Awww.... That's what friends are for.

Familiar? I actually miss studying lit at all the different cafes in marina square and milenia.

Look at my "extra" nephew in the background? haha.. Yi Jie, you actually look normal in this photo! :D

Say Ahhhhh......

I guess all I am saying is that I REALLY REALLY MISS SCHOOL TIMES! not the studying of course. but I miss you guys so so much and I wish I could see you all everyday. Keep in touch ok?

Looking back, memories are really really precious. Everytime I look back, I am reminded of how much God has used my friends to bless my life and make me feel so loved.

picture time 1 :D

2008-02-17T22:49:00.005+08:00

My first attempt on uploading a pic! hehe.. more to come in the future here I hope. I intended to upload tonnes more but it errored on me :D so here's just one.
Man! I miss school badly- note, not the studying!! :) hehe

Life

2008-02-17T22:37:00.002+08:00

Can you believe it?!?! its February and this is only my first post! heh.

Well, in general, working life has caused me to think more in every aspect. I think about what I like, what I hate, what I respect, what I value, what I detest, what God can do through me, what God is doing TO me, etc etc etc...

In summary, its been a hard time for me. Sometimes, I do realise I am a real weakling in many aspects. and then at other points in time, sometimes I think there are some things i jus cannot stand. where do we draw the line between sticking through something and when to decide to stick by your ideals? Obviously i understand life is not perfect- it has never been! but when should we stick it through and strive to survive and when should we just throw in the towel and decide that we dont NEED to deal with this.

Honestly, I have my own opinions and ideas, etc.. but my parents also say its dangerous too have TOO strong an opinion. sigh. sometimes, i wish life could just be stated plain in a book. but then again, we then realise how dull life would be. how ironic right? the "colour" of life can be so dull-ing.

Anyways, one thing i am thankful for through these days of working, is that I am slowly realising what I like and what i do not like. at least now there are certain things on my "ambition list" that are outright nonos now. heh.

During my current job, I proclaimed to my dad that this is going to be my last admin job. but I think I take it back (yes Grace. I take that back). cos the more I think about it. the more I realise admin jobs are the jobs that allow you to indirectly observe all other kinds of jobs. corporate world, schools, businesses, music schools, trading companies, etc etc. Provided they have vacancies of course. So anyone out there has an admin job for me? hahaha..

Lastly, just wanna mention a movie I watched with Ruying today. It was "Away From Her". Personally, I think it was a really good show. Dont know if I can call it literary, but it was really painful to watch. Dont get me wrong. It was not painful to sit there, but rather, the story was so heart wrenching yet so true. go watch it! I'm not sure if other places are showing it though. We watched it an Cathay Cineplex.

Alright, I've gotta get ready to sleep already. counting down to only I know what. hopefully.... 16 days and counting downzzzz....

Christmas

2007-12-26T20:45:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! =) 10 more days of Christmas to go! hehe.

I really think Christmas is the best celebration time of the year. The gatherings; meeting up with people you don't always meet, the "Christmas atmosphere"; beautiful Christmas trees and decorations all over the place to put everyone in the mood, and the exchanging of gifts and cards to show our love for one another. I love it every moment of Christmas.

This year has been truly memorable, frantic, and yet still enjoyable. Got to meet up with both sides of the family but was tired from mission trip, holiday and leader's retreat, then was trying to rush the goodie bags for everyone while trying not to go broke. haha.. it was indeed eventful. Then to our horrors, caroling was going to be canceled. BUT (yes, always a but) it came to pass! Praise the Lord. in my opinion, it was a testing time, and our faith was tested. and thank God it pulled through. without sam getting the people to come and ivana getting the transport plus the many ARs, ERs and commanders turning up, caroling wouldnt have happened. so THANK YOU ALL SO SO MUCH! and i hope you all had fun =)

I also wanna thank Eunice who invited us to carol at NUH. it was a new experienced and I loved it. Really experienced of spreading the good cheer to all around. Thanks eu! You've made this Christmas a really special one.

and looking ahead, there still seems so much to do. haha.. mayb i am just creating things to do for myself. well, i'd rather have this then a tv, food and bed schedule. heh.

Final thought: who's excited about the new year? I know i am! haha.. found a job for january. hopefully its enjoyable, im really really looking fwd to it =)

Once again, Feliz Navidad!

finally over..

2007-11-27T00:28:00.000+08:00

was just contemplating how so often we have only dreamt that this day would come sooner or later. yet when it finally arrives, its just a 'ok.... now what' kind of moment. then we slowly realise the freedom we have-like, seriously.

i dont know. mayb its just me being slow or something. but its taking me hours to realize i am in actual fact FREE. ok, not freedom in every sense of the word. but yes, free to sit and stone without feeling guilt, free to watch brainless cartoons without having the nagging to-do-list at the back of my mind, free to not even HAVE a to-do-list. basically, free to be aimless while choosing my own direction. know what i mean? nvm.

yes, i watched enchanted AGAIN. sorry la! i know its the kind of movie u just go like HAHA! but i cant help it and i actually thought a lot about it when i watched it the 1st time-no no. not about finding true love..- more like, my outlook of love and probably the "producer's" opinion of love. like i said, its not that i can help but think :) anyways, childhood things just dont get old- i think. hmmm... haha..

what should i do tmr? we'll see! ciao for now :)

Bad Day in History

2007-11-25T20:30:00.000+08:00

So I thought I'd build a shield around my heart
In hope that all hurt shall depart.
Then to my horror I realized
I had no heart left to desensitize-
For you yourself had scoured it out,
Leaving behind a void-my crater of doubt.

back and gone and back and gone and back and gone....

2007-11-17T13:12:00.000+08:00

its been such a long time and there is always so much inertia just to sign in. moreover, the recent past kinda formulates emotions too personal to publish out in the open. anyways, here i am! and I am guessin hardly a soul drops by here anymore. haha..

so, A levels are finally coming to a close. ok, 9 more days to go.. but only one paper! these few days have been spent relaxing and it tastes so so good. wahaha! *evil laughter* maybe i am slacking off more then i should. hmmm... OH WELL.. haha. seriously, i cannot wait for everything to be completely, totally, finally OVER. life has begun but it cannot really start till let paper 4 is over! so yes, i shall attempt to gear up into studying again =)

in retrospect, i've got a million things to thank God for. wait till thanksgiving!! haha.. kidding kidding. what i mean to say is that looking back at my 2 years in SA, it has proven to be so so so much more then expected. even to the very last moments He is blessing me with new and interesting experiences all the way.

one thing glory and i were talking about the other day was how it would seem that we have been extracted from our usual groups to study together and as a result even made "new friends". ok, maybe they are not COMPLETELY new. but we look around and realise how some people have been a part of out lives all this while but we've never really talked to them and stuff. yeah. its been a good time mugging.

and yes, i really am going to miss the mugging times we've all shared. the late stays in the library and cafe, and the milo plus coffee from the aunty at the malay stall. then there are the sunday study dates that are usually very "cozy" cos so few people turn up! haha.. no matter =) those times were great too.

one thing i've realised this year. memories are seriously crucial to me. its like, when i lost my photos because my SD card screwed up, i cried as if someone died. well, theoretically, my memories sort of died. that sounded silly to many but it really meant a lot to me and it was really depressing to realise it was all lost at once. so many photos and videos. heh. tech and me just dont go together. anyway, i learnt a valuable lesson- BACK UP ALL THE MEMORIES!!! ha.

hello hello? testing...

2007-08-02T00:17:00.000+08:00

It's really been such a long time! Lets see. Those who still read my blog-whatever there is to read- raise your hands up in the air!!

-SILENCE-

Hehe.. ok ok.. I dont even know what I am doing here honestly. I am suppose to be studying for my geog test. Well, I am studying ok! Feeling happy that I decided to study for the test after all. I think I have been neglecting geog too much. I know it is too late for regrets, so might as well get off my bumm and start doing something right?! Yupp! So that is what I am gonna do, or already am doing.

you know, sometimes you just feel like giving up, but when you look at the teachers who have so much hope in you or they refuse to give up on you, it just gives you a whole new motivation? yeah.. that's why i am studying mass movement for tmr's test. Dont wanna let out geog teach down you know..

Right. So what else should I talk about? have not blogged for so long, my blog would prolly become some pre-historic/ancient relic. Sorry la! really too busy and lazy to bother blogging. And most things are either "not blog worthy" or just top personal to be on a blog.

You'd prolly have guessed by now that I am clueless as to what to say cos everything that is coming out seems so random and scatter-brained. heh!

OH YA!! I can talk about how stressed-nervous-afraid-butterfly.stomached- I am feeling right now! haha.. In some ways I am excited hoping that I will play my pieces well and sing well, and sight read well... Yet I am so afraid that I will screw up. and seriously, ever since this new teach came, I have this new "realization". As in, somethings sparked within me. A kind of new emotion towards my music. Ok, theoretically, not MY music, but you get my drift. (ok, if you dont then nvm. I dont blame you when the person blogging is completely muddled and feeling dumb =p)

yeah, wish me all the best! and if I am not too lazy, I might just blog on what happened, how it went, did I screw up, etc etc etc..

On a completely separate and random note... Today was such an entertaining day. Ended on a good note. We are all baboons! HA!

the great commission!

2007-03-03T21:08:00.000+08:00

Today I learnt a crucial lesson.

The great commission is not that hard to obey.
The barriers in our mind are not essentially existent.
Let NOTHING hinder you!

Amen!! =)

Happy Chinese New Year!!

2007-02-20T22:02:00.000+08:00

I know I should not even be posting now since I have loads of work to be done (aka- undone!). But I cant help myself. I'm feeling so stress, yet there is this peace inside of me. I dont know how to explain it. It is not a comforting kind of peace though. In some sense, its like, a peace, knowing that I will survive through tonight. But looking at the next half of the week, I just feel like sitting in a corner, and do just that. yes! sit in a corner and do nothing important! haiz~

Anyways, CNY has been awesome! It felt like I was on my one month vacation kinda thing. Everyday we went visitation or people came to visit. Then going to the supermarket actually felt so good somehow. I felt as if I didnt have anything else to do (actually I did. But i refused to think of that), and was completely relaxed!! haha.. and got to see all my cousin darls! it's just so nice to see family. Really.. sadly, we dont get to meet often. I wish we could been like every week or something. That day, I was just telling my mum that relatives (cousins, aunts and uncles-esp cousins) touch a certain spot on your heart. Know what i mean? Like, knowing that these people are actually people whom God has chosen not to give u a choice about! know what I mean? haha.. It's a nice, warm and fuzzy feeling seeing them, knowing that u are FAMILY. Feels so good =)

yupp... lots to be done and I've gotta go. either ways, I'm glad cny was such a blast! =)

*frantically carries on doing homework while waiting for the soon approaching weekend*

Later!! =)

Friends, God-sent blessings..

2007-02-08T00:18:00.000+08:00

Ever felt like the whole world was about to crash upon you and there seemed to be no route of escape? Like something was creeping up you, drowning you, suffocating u? Yeah, that was pretty much how I felt today-in general. Basically, I hated that feeling, and I prolly had a frown upon my face more then usual. Many noticed, and commented. but I couldnt help it. Then I was praying like "God! help me! I cant see myself surviving today. Please save me." I was worried and stress, although I knew there was no point in feeling so. I guess it was the tiredness as well.

But praise the Lord! Despite all the frustration and stress and unhappiness- this will not be elaborated on-, God sent... FRIENDS! Last nite, had Grace dear promising to be my indirect total defender and being so sweet, then had hugs from Eunice (cuz she needed it), then on the way to Vivo, so many crappy conversations and "arguments". Grace, Steffi, Wan, Midah, Ming Tuan, Joel, Nic, Char-shit, Jeanette, Eunice, Glory, Daryl, Jon, Kevin, Dave, Darren, Michelle Tan, David, Ruying and Mervin! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! mayb you all are not even aware, but you all really made my day in one way or another. And I am not just saying (or typing) this. You all have made me laugh, or lightened my burden, or simply WERE there. thanks a million. I really thank God for u guys. I dont know how I would have survived today without all that.

Isn't God amazing? I know I've said it time and again, but I can never say it enough. It is as if he puts this boulder in front of u and asks u to jump over it. but it's way way way over your head! Yet, He just says 'try!'. And when you decide to throw yourself into His plan, and just do as He says... Just before you jump, He brings along all your friends who lift you over to the other side of the wall. Does this make sense? hmm.. Indeed amazing.

Hey guys! May you all continue to enjoy the next half of your week! =) God bless, and remember to place Him as TOP TOP priority ya? so long~

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you..."

Every little thing's gonna be alrite

2007-02-02T10:53:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I am back once more. Hmm.. if pple actually DO read my blog. haha.. but in a way, my blog is not just for others, but for me as well. So, as long as I am here, my blog will never be completely dead rite? haha..

These days have been long, but Praise the Lord! Despite the tiredness of everything, and the occasional tears of confusion, frustration and "pain"- not physically; God has been awesome and so great. Ever felt that life has a certain humour about it? Like, the ppl u least expect to be there are the ones who actually pray things thru with u, or are the ones whom u have pleasant conversations with? God has really been so good.

I feel that my time in SA has really been the most stretching yet enjoyable times-of school life of course. Things that God has been trying to teach me finally become clear, and start to take form. Things that I could not overcome before have slowly come to pass, and with Him, I managed to do it!

Yes. Indeed, every little thing is gonna be alrite-in the end, especially in God's hands. He has proven to be so amzing time and again. It is too mind-boggling to describe sufficiently really. All I can say is, we never know what it is like till we feel it. press on! =)

Ok, I'll end with the lyrics of the song "Every little thing"-obviously where my blog title came from =) haha.. its by Delirious?, and it spoke to me yesterday while I was just singing it through as I worshipped in my room yesterday. tata~

--Every Little Thing--

Everything must change

There’s a mirror showing me the ugly truth

These bones they ache with holy fire

But I’ve got nothing to give, just a life to live

If your world is without colour

I will carry you, if you carry me

Every little thing’s gonna be alright

[x2]

There’s no-one else to blame

I live my life between the fire and the flame

I’ve built my house where the ocean meets the land

It’s time to live again, pull my dreams out of the sand

Let your world be full of colour

I will carry you, if you carry me

When it’s all falling down on you

You’re crying out but you’re breaking in two

When it’s all crashing down on you

When there’s nothing you can do

There is someone who can carry you

hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello .........

2007-01-21T19:59:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back and this blog is dead! okay, its not dead since I am here. So I should say its jus a vegetable. and this is going to be an ultra short entry cuz I am in a rush for GP. feel so bad la. I was suppose to send it last night. but didnt get to sit down and do till now. so so so so sorry......

Anyways, I wanna thank the WORM!! thanks wan! she has been such a blessing in my life, especially this week. This is clearly and indeed God-sent. Praise the Lord. Thanks a million dear! dont know what I would have done without u. It was so spiritually refreshing and I felt really really blessed to be able to share so openly and jus encourage one another, hearing each other out. praise Him!

This week will be a better one! it already is! haha.. the work and all is standard madness. I just cant wait for the rest of this year to unfold (and quickly!) haha.. basically, I cant wait for it to end. Jus the A'lvl part. SFC, A4, Friends, fellowship... School rocks! homework, studying... school is okay. ha!!

oh ya, My Girl is making me miss all those times and all those emotions. sigh~ is it wrong to crave something of the past? something pushed aside and attempted to be forgotten? am I being 'ungodly' or is it natural human behaviour? missing it, yet deciding to forget. Recalling the past, yet saying, "it's over"!

Finally, WELCOME BACK TO SINGAPORE to uncle Chong Poh!!! =) Now he is tall DARK and handsome. hahaha...

sayo everybody~ will be back... whenever =)

Breathe in......Breathe out.......And then it all begins...

2007-01-02T19:37:00.000+08:00

Inhale, then EXHAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLEEEEE................. hooooooooooooooo.........

What was that all about? my mood =) haha..

So nervous, yet excited, yet tired, yet happy, yet scared about next year. My only comfort lies in "God has a plan for me". A 'level year next year. How will I do? Will it be another screw up (like my O's)? As long as I give my best, it is ok to screw up (in a way. cant phrase it properly, but u know what I mean). cos looking back, I gave my best for O's (only after prelims. heh), but God blessed me by miraculously placing me in SA after a loooong test of faith. It was trying, but Praise the Lord, He made me make it through! =)

Next year, I definitely wanna have a life. I know it is almost impossible, but I AM going to have a life. It may not be having 100% of my life, but I am choosing right here, right now, not to neglect...

1) Family
2) Friends
3) Rangers (unless somebody forces me=( )
4) Church
5) Spiritual growth, aka QT

There is a season and time fro everything rite? the season may be to study, but there are different times in this coming season rite? I'm sure anthea will find the time to enjoy life, even if its for a second (or two, or three, or four, or five? haha......) - that's prolly the part mum's worrying about. haha!

School's in tmr, and holiday's out! sigh~ but I am super-duper-uber-ultra-mega thankful for this holiday. it was a great time of relaxing (although there was lots of work-not jus homework), and fellowshipping. It was awesome! really. only the homework part was madness. I finished 80% of it? but it was 99% done during this week. eeks!

Alright, I better be off now.. Gotta prepare all my worksheets, homework, etc, for tmr. See u all at morning worship! (hope I wont be late. I dont want to be late anymore!!! ha)

Later guys~ Have a blessed, awesome, supreme, happy, joyful, God guided school term ahead!!! :) Loves.

Being True To Yourself!!

2006-12-29T22:51:00.000+08:00

I've just realised that it has been such a long time since I type about a topic. Actually, I cant really remember, have I ever typed about a topic before even? haha.. Ok, this is no different from my other posts la. yeah? It is just that I have been pondering lately (a few years!!)...

What does it really mean to be true to yourself? Why are there so many people who simply cannot enjoy just being themselves? Is it so important to be someone else? Or, to even try to be someone else? Don't people know that their insincerity to others (and themselves) is so obvious to some? I don't know if everyone sees that insincerity, but I do (or at least I think I do). And sometimes (or most of the time), it just irks me. hmm.. I really wonder, does it irk me cos I am judging others? or is there something that needs to be changed? or is it both ways?

I mean, when u try to be someone, though others may seem to like the "fake" u, dont u feel that u owe something to your true self? how do u feel really? it is kind of frustrating, yet I cant do anything. I know I can help me be true to myself (or at least try). but as for others, there is nothing I can do is there? haha.. let's see, am I ranting or am I making a point? lol.

sometimes, the thing I fear is that I become the person I despise. how?

hmm...

Homework homework homework....

2006-12-27T22:35:00.000+08:00

yes! that is all my life is going to be about during the next few days. okay, I am exaggerating, although that shouldn't be the case. I have every single piece of homework untouched, except for the two lit essays that we have handed in so far, and our journal entries. Not something I am proud if, but, beat that! goodness. I cant believe the trouble i am in right now. but somehow, the complete stress I was feeling these days isn't affecting me so much now.

It is probably due to the fact that I know my time was well spent, and it was not due to my complete laziness that nothing was done. okay, I was not the most hardworking person this holidays. But it was really the busiest holiday I've ever had. BUT BUT BUT, no regrets there AT ALL! It was one of the most fulfilling and enriching holidays of my life, as well as one of the most enjoyable. yes yes, I admit, all my holidays have been enjoyable. who wouldn't enjoy a break away from sch rite? yupp. Thank God! I am so glad for holidays. Despite the mad rush, having mere hours of break in between each phase of holidaying. haha.. It was fun!

And now, 2007 is approaching. Hmm.. I'll be thinking about my resolutions for next year. Although, i don't usually base my day to day life around those goals. haha! But no harm planning and trying rite? I cant remember all my 2006 resolutions, but I know I should have accomplished most of them.

Caroling was awesome for me. I mean, not the best ever, and the fun was not as "high". But it was special. Firstly, JM made it! =) secondly, there were so many "new" people. As in, PGO people came too! that was really nice. And the sleep over, got to talk to Jane quite a bit.and a Christmas visit from Li Ju! (highlight!) It is amazing how I look back, and just marvel at how I can still be close to my pro sch friends when I hardly see them at all! It's awesome, really.. Oh yes, and comm Sera with Jeff. ahh.. may all your wishes, prayers and dreams come true =)

Merry Christmas! 9 more days of Christmas to go!! :D hee...
On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me..................... (eee! I hate that song! wahhaa)

Happy Christmas All !!

2006-12-22T16:52:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! :)

woah.. these few days have been so good yet so painful. hah! good for the soul, painful for me pockets =( but, its the season of giving! so, its been a joy!hahaha...

Cant wait for this week's activities to happen! it's gonna be fun fun fun! =)

See u all. sorry this is so short, but I am not in the "expressing mood". haha!

Later~

1st piano less with new teach...

2006-11-25T10:50:00.000+08:00

For those of u who actually READ my blog! haha.. remember that time when I was talking about having a change in piano teach to a private teach? yupp. this morning was my first lesson. JUST now in fact. my worries were not founded =) for me, there is good news and bad news. well, good news, as I've said, she's not scary, fierce and all that. She's nice, easy to talk to-approachable.

The flip side? hmm.. perhaps it is just human nature to dislike certain types of changes? mayb it's just anthea nature. heh. oh wells.. perhaps I am jus not used to this different style and character. I kinda miss the "old way". "kinda" is an understatement actually =( but I know I cant afford the time, going back and forth places during my A'levels next year.This would be the best arrangement.

But seriously, mayb I am just being plain unadaptable. I dont know. I mean,what more can I ask for right? all my fears have already been "taken care of". cant be too demanding eh? haha.. sigh~

okay, just needed to get this off my chest. hols are a mad rush. tata for now.

Island of Friends...

2006-11-23T18:15:00.000+08:00

What is "Island of Friends"? It's the name of the upcoming camp that Saints for Christ is running with Saints Fitness. While I am rather upset about how messy, last minute and rushed this camp seems to be, it has thought me several things, and I am grateful for those lessons learnt. What have I learnt? Read on..

1) The impossible is only impossible if u tell yourself it is!
2) 14 heads put together work MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH...... better then ONE! haha :)
3) A LOT of planning and work goes into planning a camp. (Thanks to all the wonderful commanders who plan camps for us every year! small scale is tough enough, talk about BIG scale! gosh. eternally grateful!!)
4) No matter how busy we are, there are times to take a break and INHALE!!!

ok la.. I dont know what else I have learnt.

This week and the week before, Ruying got to stay over. so, happy me :) we talked till the wee hours in the morning again! really missed that! and the next day had meeting!! ahhh!!! almost died. but I survived!! lol. it is good to have sleepovers and have heart to heart talks :)

Ok, here's my update. have to leave the house soon. meeting gracie poo to pass her consent form and packlist. haiz.. up till now, I've not been to ubin for a single recce yet. WHAT TO DO??!!

oh wells, later!

Yawns

2006-11-08T13:28:00.000+08:00

I am kinda bored, or should I say, jus plain lazy. HA! Well, I actually planned to do intensive practicing for my OP today, for like, an hour? then I wanted to eat lunch, then go to the library to just relax and read. I planned to leave the house at 1230pm today, but I am still at home now, and it's 130pm. haha! I think I will go la. It's jus a matter of time. When i type this finish, when I finish my lunch (yes, Im still eating it), and when I get changed and all. Mayb I wont even go out after all. Very lazy. Ok, see how la.

Practiced for OP jus now. Hmm.. am I too soft? am I swallowing my words? am I making sense? am I still being too boring due to my nerves? argh! somebody SAVED me!! I cant wait for OP to be over. I cant wait for the entire PW to be over and done with!! Lord, sustain me! sustain us!

Yesterday was my long long long camp com mtg. Shaun and David were being annoying by continously calling me on my mobil when they were right in front of me! naughty ah u two!! ask wan lin to stare at u all then u know. then we went fro tau hui. it was nice to sit there and jus relax. Kevin was talking about studying together later during this year. Im all for it man! without external pressure, I will jus be lazy and not get anything done. especially when november is considered a no holiday season for me this year. =(

ANYWAY, will most prob be gg out with family tonight since it's conrad's last paper. yay! Cant wait to get out of the house, especially when its not for the purpose of work of any sort =) hee..

Alrightey, later~

Goodbye Piano at Yamaha =(

2006-11-06T22:48:00.000+08:00

Today is my last day having my piano lesson at Yamaha. I know this is for the best, especially in the academic sense. It saves all the travelling time, and also the frequent re-schedulings. Initially, I didnt think too much of it. I mean, my teacher's nice, not picky, and very accomodating. But to stop piano and have it in my home instead, I was ok with the idea cuz I am convinced I need that extra time and convenience.

But today, I was kinda sad. Like sitting there waiting for Elliot's turn to be over, I looked around and was like, "hmm... never going to be waiting here anymore" that kind of feeling. It was sad la! I am not too certain why also. In some ways, I am a little afraid of what my next teacher will be like. haha.. I mean, I dont really know what I'm losing and what I'm gaining. Know what i mean? haiz~ oh well.. at most, I can go back to yamaha after my A'lvls ya? sigh~

Anyways, gave my teacher something for the first time. haha.. Usually will contemplate giving him something for teachers day, but always never got around to doing it. regret? haha.. prolly I guess. hmm..

Feeling all kind of mixed. Like, what will my next teacher be like? Is she very strict? Will she be as nice as my piano teach? ha! it's funny somehow. my next teach would be wan's piano teacher actually. but talking to wan still doesnt paint me a picture lehz. lolz. Nevermind. what will come will come. Lessons would probably start next year. cuz nov and dec are packed to the max! no time.

Ok, I shall end here. nothing much else to say already. later~

RUYING: My family has plans to meet u in Auzzie!! hope to see u there yeah? that would be ultra cool la! :D hee..

My Weekend...

2006-10-30T23:27:00.001+08:00

how was my weekend? EVENTFUL! =) I felt that it was well spent, and I enjoyed myself. WHY? Cos I got to do lots of things and I wasnt cooped at home. Not that I dont like my home, just that too much time in the same can drive me to the verge of insanity.

ok, let's start with Saturday. I woke up in the morning and attempted to study a bit of chinese. but it didnt work out. barely read through one chapter and it was time to get ready to leave. Went to meet Ruying! =) oh wells, decided to just consult lao shi with whatever I did during the week. Met Ruying at toa payoh and I was late! haha.. ok, I admit I am kuku. I mean, I always thought toa payoh was super near ma! haha.. ok, mayb only Ruying knows what I am saying.

Anyways, we ate a lot of snacks cuz we couldnt think of anything else better to do after watching DOA. and for the record, I would say DOA was the most uninteresting SHOW I watched since the day I was born, excluding sesame street. haha! nah, I think I am exagerating. or am I? :D hee.. oh wells.. both of us decided, NOT WORTH OUR MONEY!! they should be paying us to go thru that torture actually. oh wells :/

After all the eating and chatting and walking around (in what seemed like circles), met Ruying's family for dinner, then we were off to Sheraton for chinese consultation! haha.. I was afraid I woulf get lost, so we made our way there like at 7.30pm? in the end, it was SO NEAR! goodness.. haha.. so since we were so early, we decided to walk to the bus stop closest to Sheraton and chat somemore. but some irritating person was smoking and we were suffocating, so we walked back to the bus stop at the mrt station. Just when we sat down, lao shi texted me to say he was in the cafe already. oh wells, walk back to Sheraton lo. haha! It always seems that when Im with Ruying, we always walk a lot! haha.. prolly cuz we are so blur I guess. :D hee.. or is it jus her? hee... *imagines the look on Ruying's face and laughs* hee.. JUS KIDDING!

Ok, so consultation went on till about 9.30pm. Ruying got to ask questions too! hehe.. my dear, studying for Chinese does help!! MAY YO BE CONVINCED! haha.. It was quite relaxing. jus ask all the questions that I had "stored up" during the week. and yupp, that was about it! haha.. thanks loads to lao shi. Hopefully I can remember all that I learnt. (Ruying! Dont say anything!)

Next, sunday! Jonathan got his gold medal of achievement! and Lio and Chang Xiang got their bronze. CONGRATS guys!! It was so nice to see a whole section of pple clad in the RR uniform. cool!! :) Proud to be a ranger! haha..

After church, I had pw meeting. PW mtg became a chit chat session also. haha.. sometimes I jus think my pw grp can be so cute. somehow la. dont really know why also. It's like, jus a group of pple who are so different in different ways beinig thrown together and having to work together. hmm.. =)

ok, I'm super tired. gg to sleep le. then tmr, I shall mug somemore!! hahhaa.. GOOD NITE FOLKS!!

Ruying: this time the post not very random HOR? :D hee.. and u owe my lao shi 100bucks! lol

random random random...

2006-10-27T18:36:00.000+08:00

Should my posts from now on be simply random? haha.. prolly just me and my emotions going cuckoo.. haha.. why ah?

Anyways,

Random thought for today: many think I am calm and in control. but that's prolly cuz they've never seen me thrown in hot water! haha..

I was jus thinking la. cuz in sec sch and all, I get the "she has a kind of confidence about her" kind of comments. but am I really confident? NO!! haha.. not really la. or at least I dont think so. what think u? hmm..

Oh well, this is suppose to be random anyways. =)

In ending, I just wanna mention, chinese is driving me nuts! haha.. never studied to hard before. sometimes, I just fear that all the hopes of doing well will come crashing down on me. but, safety lies in the shadow of HIS wings rite? yupp =) Daddy God is always in control. so, Chinese, NO BIG!! haha! (0.o are u kidding anthea koh!!) hehe..

Random things I simply Love =)

2006-10-26T15:25:00.000+08:00

Hee.. feeling random and reflective again.. hehe =D

1) The feel of strong winds at my fingertips

2) The light patter of a drizzle on my skin

3) The smell of rain before it comes

4) The "scenery" just before a thunderstorm

5) The sound of thunder from a distance

ok, that's it for randomness.

MOVING ON......

haha.. have u ever wondered... ... when do u truly know a person? there are always times when u feel u thoroughly know someone. but how would u know if what u know that person to be were his/her true self? Am I making sense?

Well, I guess u never truly understand one till u see a contrasting side of that person right? oh well.. hehe..

that's all for my randomness now. buaiz~ =)

my tag board's down..

2006-10-16T22:37:00.000+08:00

hey all~ looks like my taggie board is down.. anyone knows why? it's like some advert thing. Anyway, anything, jus leave a comment instead of a tag ok? for those with eyes big enough to know how to leave a comment =) hee...

in short, today was good! fun, more relaxing, but I'm still totally shagged~ =) adios amigos!!

random memory...

2006-10-15T19:49:00.000+08:00

If those times were just a dream, I wish it never ended...

If those things you said were true, I could actually believe in them...

If you really kept all your promises, I wouldnt be so careful at present...

If you were unreal, I would be happier...

Somehow it seems, it would be best if u were just a pleasent dream. Hmm..

1/2 of promo papers BACK!

2006-10-12T19:42:00.000+08:00

ok, so I have testimonies again!! :D hee.. let's start from the lousiest subject of the day..

Math. well, I was exactly devastated cuz I was expecting worse. I got an E. well.. u can say the grade is the same as my common test. however, the difference is that, common test, I actually got an S grade. but they moderated and gave me 1/2 a mark more, hence my E. so, overall, for the whole year, math, I got an E.

Next, econs. I got a D grade. Hmm.. Well, I am satisfied. Previously, for CT, I got an S grade, and this round I was aiming for about a D. So, God granted and blessed. Thank God!! =) overall, it averaged to a D.

Lastly, CHINESE!! man. ok, I hope I am not being insensitive or anything. as in, I am assuming hardly anyone reads my blog also. at least, pple from my class la. so, yeah.. CT, I got an E grade. for promos, I got....... A!!! haha.. who says pigs cant fly? who says Singapore is not snowing? who says water is not dry? haha.. ok, ignore what I jus typed. I was just totally in awe when I got my results. was like, tears of joy really felt like they were coming on. Such happiness and amazement that I couldnt describe. and Gracie bak gua was being such a darling la! for the first time in my life (if I recall correctly) a friend tells me "I am so happy for you". haha.. ok, so overall, I got a B for chinese.

Oh ya.. I was just thinking just now. what I said was not true. I did well in chinese before! PRIMARY 1 and 2! haha.. but since Primary 3, erm.... well..... ahhh..... hmmm.... yeah... u get my drift :D hee......

and God blessed gracie dear too! Praise the Lord!! and yes dear, I AM HAPPY FOR YOU!!

and to whoever (from A4) reads my blog: hey guys, hang in there aite? we will make it through. and I always believe, no matter what happens, God always has a plan (for those of you who believe there is a God. I DO!) :D yupp.. so, no matter what, let's not give up hope ya? we'll make it through somehow.

and on the things I missed out yesterday. hmm.. I realised I've not blogged for so long, I kinda forgot what is usually written on ones blog. lol.. then it struck me before I went to bed. What happens in the day!! wow!! retarded rite? hee :D that's Anthea pok for u la! haha..

ok, so yesterday, we were making door gifts for open house. It was funny sitting beside Dave. he is jus artistically insane. haha.. it's not the time for being artistic dude. its time for mechanical work. haha! but in the end, he got the hang of it. yupp.. like, at the end of the day. haha.. but his artistic designs were really not bad k.. just that, we cant give those away since they were not standardised! haha..

alright, I will stop here.. today, God taught me something. nursing a grudge/wound? NO!! REJECTING that LIE of the devil! argh!!! SHOOOOO!!!!! go away devil!

hehe.. okie, sorry.. later guys~

I am back to blog!!

2006-10-11T19:37:00.000+08:00

ok, so promos have been over for a while. hmm.. not that long. probably about a week? somehow, I know it's over, but we all know what comes after every exam/test right? yes. results! haha.. oh wells. what can be done now right? so, I'll just wait and wait and wait....... until we get back our results. I wana know if I can be promoted!!ahh!!

haha.. ok.. well, suddenly I cant really think about anything to blog now.. how come ah? ok.. I shall be random then.

1) recently, I've been printing a lot of chords. but it does not mean I went or managed to play all those songs! haha

2) TAN WAN LIN! I HATE YOU!! heeeee :D see la.. who ask u.. keep bullying me. =( aiya! u don even read my blog. no fun le!

3)I am still so so tired

4)I feel happy and I dont really know why

5) some things that we should not think about, reject thoughts about those issues!! amen!

6) I'm gonna have my dinner.

bye!! haha.. sorry I cant think of anything I really wanna write about.

It's been such a long time!!

2006-09-09T19:58:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! Ima back to blog again! hahaz.. sorry its been such a long time. as usual, busy with sch, life, etc etc..

Yesterday had to lead in worship. I was quite nervous and all. But God reminded me, it's about HIM, not me! Gracie poo played the guit for me. Thanks dear! ok. I shall stop thanking you (as u requested. last time, I promise! haha) ok, it was quite scary, but thank God it was ok. I dont know how I led. but oh wells, it aint about me! :)

Then, we had worship conference with COR. it was awesome! Personally, I've not felt HIS prescence fro so long although I wasnt feeling depressed or anything. probably worn out and felt far away ba. then b4 the svc, God told me to have a heart of expectancy and I believed that He would touch me. and guess what! He did! Praise the Lord!! It was so good to be in His prescence once again and just kneel before His throne of grace and cry my heart unto Him. He is so wonderful! Amen!

Today, went to subway with JM! I was not productive. haiz.. but I wont say it was a wasted afternoon la. I replied to RUYING's letter! yeah! will pass it to you tmr dear! it's gettin longer and longer =) hee.. its so nice to be in subway again. I miss it so much. haha.. and got to spend time with JM again. she was so much more productive la. I only managed to finish my geog tutorial. she did math, econs and chem! gosh* haha..

besides that, dunno what else to say. ahha.. stil very tired. I guess I'll be off now. In the mean time, u guys out there take loadsa care yeah? love yas!! God bless you all!

it always comes back to me
unexpectedly
makin me feel this way
those memories locked away

sick...

2006-08-29T19:11:00.000+08:00

haiz.. Im sick. I hate hate hate to be sick =( *pouts* For the first time in my life, I have a super super pain headache, and a sleep didnt help. really couldn go to school. Had to go doc on my own though. Super pain, didnt feel well. Tired, etc etc.. I hate this feeling. =(

Today, I've slept a total of about 18hours already. ha! I hope it helps. =) tmr gg back to school, but I dont think I can do any work. still got econs test on thurs. haiz. how? it's a lecture test somemore. I hope it'll be cancelled. Im really in no state to study.

Tmr got chinese test. see how ba. I hope I'll feel better later. then can study a bit. but medicine will make me drowsy. see how la. too sick to think too much also.

to my wonderful friends, grace, steffi and wan lin: thank you for all your care, concern, and prayers! It really encouraged me today even though I was super unwell =)

To God be the Glory!! =)

2006-08-24T21:45:00.000+08:00

I've got a testimony! I've got a testimony! and I HAVE TO share it!! cuz it really amazes me! :D

ok, where shall i start? alright, I'll start where all thing start. yup! the BEGINNING! haha.. ok, so I was told on sunday that I had to do scripture reading on thursday (today). yeah. I was about to freak out. then God reminded me that He wanted to teach me something in my 2 years in SA.

Anyways, I said ok, decided to prepare on wednesday since I was at a funeral then. Then I kept praying through the week cuz i was very scared. Like, really really scared. let's jus say speaking in front of my entire cohort is not something I am exactly like comfrotable with? u know, hundreds of people, speaking into a mic, reading aloud? etc etc? yeah, u get my drift.

Then, my dad reminded me, it's not about u! It's about God. Pray for the non-believers that they will understand what you read and learn from it. So, I decided to shift my focus. then i prayed over the versus and for the pple that morning. But I WAS STILL VERY SCARED.

This morning, during morning worship, Anna shared 2 verses, and they were applicable to me emotions and my thoughts at that moment! wow!! Isn't God amazing? then I rushed out of the LT to go prepare after morning worship. I was like, ok, what come may. God will use me. All I have to do is to STOP thinking about myself.

Then when I went up there, there was some guy reciting the pledge again and again. Even though I dont know him, he talked to me. he kept thinking he forgot a line of the pledge. haha.. It made me laugh.So I laxed for a while. After the actual reciting of the pledge, I was like, ok... now is the time. Breathe in, go!

So, I read from my paper. My legs were trembling la! then by the time I was reading my prayer, I felt that my whole body was trembling. All the time, my stomach felt super constricted and I was feeling super nervous. But I just did what i had to do, taking in deep breaths again and again. Ok, then I was feeling kinda down after reading it. As in, for a moment or two. Cuz I felt that I didnt succeed.

but when I went down to join my class, they said I seemed pretty confident. And msK even encouraged me. I was like so thankful la! It appears that the raging nervousness I felt inside of me didnt show much. Praise the Lord! i really hope people were really listening to the scriptures read, and I heard they understood. =)

oh ya, I left out one thing! I woke up sick! so my nose and throat was blocked the whole early morning! so, I sounded nasal (so gracie poo said :) haha.. it didnt exactly help my "confidence". haha.. but it went alright.

To God be the glory!! ~

Praise the Lord!!

2006-08-19T08:11:00.000+08:00

prayer really really works! amen! I was so scared and decided to pray. end result? I'm still alive! ok, mayb I sound like Im talking rubbish. but I dont wanna say exactly what happened la.. anyways, it was another miracle! Praise the Lord! =)

This weekend is super burnt. AGAIN! haiz.. so busy.. I don even think I can go for band practice today. see how ba..

Really short post today. later~

Here I am... AGAIN!!!

2006-08-15T18:19:00.000+08:00

helloooo... can u believe it?! I'm actually blogging. AGAIN! see, miracles do happen! haha.. well, one thing I've learnt recently is, everyone has the same amount of time and work NEVER ends. really. so, it's how you priorities and MAKE TIME for things.

An example would be my kor, when he was in college and uni, he still wrote to me. I was thinking, he was definitely a thousand times more busy then me! so, how come he could send me letters and cards, and I cant even reply to my dearest RUYING's letter? haha.. then I was thinking, and I decided, I didnt reply cuz I didnt MAKE time. so, yeah.. I've decided to try to MAKE time to do things that I wanna do. Am I any free-er? NO! No doubt everyone has their skool/work responsibilities. but what happened to social responsibilities? hmm.. just the things I've been thinking about this past week la =) sorry if I sound incoherent. I'm quite tired.

anyways, moving on... know what? know what? last nite, elliot lost his skool handbook, so I was kinda looking a lil for him and also finding something else. cant rmbr what I was searching for, BUT BUT BUT, I FOUND ALL MY PLANETSHAKERS CDs!! yeah!! haha.. after losing half of them for over a year, I finally found them! praise the Lord! =) I was so happy la! haha.. that means I found all my PS Cds this month! one half found last week I think. haha.. so happy! :) Praise the Lord. my lil bro, unfortunately was not so fortunate. he could not find his handbook at all.. *gasp* haha.. Ruying, u spread ya messymessness to him rite? haha.. MUST be! :D

to U: I am super angry and kinda hurt. I bet u dont know. know what? the anger u made me feel today took my friend 7 years to make me feel that way! u took like, one month TOPS! haiz.. but I'm gonna pray about it and I know somehow I may forgive u. argh! I jus don get u, u know that! nvm.. I jus wanna let go. it's not good for me, not good for u, not good for ANYONE.

alright, now that I've got it of my chest, erm... what should I say next? oh ya! today, it rained, like STORMED all of a sudden. haha.. I was so so happy. that really made my day. the weather is truly unpredictable! =) It was so strong and the wind was so strong such that it looked like a snow storm, but when the snow has not become snow yet. know what I mean.. it reminded me of my U.S. holiday trip last year. when the snow storm was going on outside the lodge and we were inside drinking hot choco and stuff =)

oh yes! and I have one more thing to thank God for! I was put in charge of settling food for SFC tmr rite? then I was quite scared that it will be too last minute cuz we only found out on mon! but PTL!! everything was settled today, and we even got variety sia! thank God! Jana, Hui Ru and Eunice, thanks u guys! hopefully all will go well tmr! thanks again! :)

wait wait! one more! lots of blessings to count today. the week b4, Raksha lost her mp3 and she was so sad la! then I went home and prayed that she will find it. When we were chatting, she kinda said, things that have to be gone will be gone. so, yeah.. anyway, I went home and prayed for her during my quiet time! guess what?! she found it!! I'm so happy for u Rakrak! haha.. I know how it feels to lose smth. and I really dont like that feeling! take care!

Charlene: I'll be praying for u! u may not be a Christian, but if u do somehow read this. Trust in God ok? dont worry too much, and please DO take loadsa care. if need be, quickly seek help.

okies, I'm off for now.. see when the next miracle happens and I'll blog again! :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

2006-08-14T19:17:00.000+08:00

woohoo!! today is my lil bro's birthday! He's jus turned 9 yrs old! haha.. well, we celebrated it yesterday. children's parties are quite fun sometimes cuz there are so many cute cute children! haha.. yesterday, dad asked me to lead in a game. well, honestly, I am always unsure of how to lead lil children in games? cuz it can be really hard to get their attention! haha.. but it turned out fine enough. dad helped me to gather the children, then I jus started to lead. They were excited and stuff, and I didnt even need to do anything! haha.. yay!

there was so much good food that mum cooked! unfortunately, I was feeling too tired and not hungry. haha.. so, jus pinch a lil food here and there, then watch tv, talk to ruying, see who else to talk to and stuff.haha.. well, SO MUCH LEFT OVER! goodness.. when it comes to cooking, I think my mum is superwoman. haha..

oh ya! and Hannah is such a cute lil darling u know! she was one of the last few to go home, so she wanted to play with me. then I played with her for a while, but had to do homework. so, I told her I have to do work. but she still wanted to follow me, so I told her: can, but cannot disturb ok? she was such a good girl la! haha.. she just asked for pen and paper, then she sat on her own and started drawing for me a picture. so sweet!! she's K2, so u can imagine her drawing.. ok ok, mayb u cant. haha.. well, it was an angel heart. u know, a heart that is an angel? yeah.. :D haha.. I was so happy. she's so cute. really! =)

today. I was so not ready to go to school for such a long day. thank God, one teacher was absent. so my day ended like, almost 2 hours early!haha.. it was a good break altho we still had assigned work. tonite, I'm so going to dive into bed and snooze for a long long long time..haha..

And I went for piano today, not knowing its a term holiday at yamaha. haiz.. so i stood there for 20mins waiting.. then still no sign of my teacher, so decided to ask the counter. then aha! found out it was a term holiday. lol.. ok lor.. so, yeah.. in some ways, it was good timing again, cuz I have not practiced my pieces for about half a month already. haha.. I definitely must find some time to go pratice..

now, its like natural to sit in front of the piano and jus play chords and sing.. so its like, I always forget to pratice my tau gehs.. haha.. oops! hee.. =) alritey, my bro wants to use the com! ciao for now =) God bless u all!

Planetshakers "concert"!!

2006-08-13T09:50:00.000+08:00

yeah!! Past two nites, went to expo for the planetshakers "concert". It was good! It's like u can really see the band worshiping. as in like, I jus felt it was a lil different from FOP in some sense. but I wont elaborate la. however, on the first nite, the pple behind me were like more crazy about the band then God. if u know what I mean.. but, i don wanna judge la. God sees the heart, all I hear is their SCREAMS** haha.. then on the 1st nite, met like almost all my JC2 SFC seniors. They were like, in front of me. so, said hi and all that.

Last nite, went with Rung and Ruying. haha! Rung: I admit I am rather easily amused, but u ARE funny! haha.. seriously, I never knew that fruits MUST have seeds! haha.. but I am sure seedless grapes are fruits! :D hee.. then last nite, the preacher was very funny. but overall, I prefered the 1st nite's preacher. somehow, I kept praying throughout the thing that pple will come to know God.

when I looked around, I saw quite a number of malays. I was so happy! it's like, what great oppotunity!! I hope they enjoyed it, and I pray many gave their lives to Him.. okok, I gtg le. gotta go church soon.

Ruying!! see ya soon! then I can see u in your formal clothes! =D

I'm back!!!

2006-08-03T18:50:00.000+08:00

haha.. so so so so so so sorry for not posting for so long! haha.. It has been super hectic and rush rush rush for things.

Well, quick update.

Last sunday, got to see kor! He came out of NS for the weekend. Bo tak suites you kor! haha.. =D hee..

Guess what happened today? my form wanted to see us. then we were all kinda like fretting. thinking, what did we do this time? haha.. guess what she did?! haha.. she gave us a secret Recepie banana choc cake! woah! haha.. so huge la! so the class sang birthday songs to ourselves. woohoo! haha.. chinese teach looked embarressed that we are his class. haha.. so funny. then he was like turning red and all that. haha.. The cake was yummylicious! haha.. I like SR la.. =)

ok, then it has been a loooong day also..

after taf running after school, went to caf to meet some SFC pple. people keep asking me not to let others bully me! hmm... I'm that smiley meh? tim wan and pris keep asking me to give an angry face. haha.. so funny. I cant act la.. Haha.. mayb one day.. hmmm...... dunno la! haha.. I guess I will say I can be nice to people. But if someone clearly tries to take advantage of me being nice then I may not be so nice any more.. I think la.. haha.. what say u? hmm..

anyways, CANT WAIT FOR FOP!!!!! yay!! haha.. Ruying, see ya tmr =) hopefully can have sleepover.. haha.. yeah!! It's gonna be an awesome time of praising HIM! yeah! cant wait cant wait cant wait!! =D and what's more? next friday got PLANETSHAKERS!! yeah! haha.. so excited =)

Oh ya! we had chinese debate today. haha.. it was quite funny. So many english words!! haha.. so many ideas to express, too little chinese vocab! ahhh!!! haha..

alritey, I gtg.. see when my next update will be ba~ =D See u all, and God bless!

phew...! Thank God!!

2006-07-20T16:20:00.000+08:00

Woah.. so scary.. the caterer for tmr sent me the invoice and the price was said to be $476.70!! oh noo!!! I like, panicked! then I was praying through out the past hour or so. So, called to enquire bout the amount and told kevin about it. Then called to see if can cancel and if the 50% will be charged or not. thank God!! Indeed He answers prayers. After this entire hour or so, the lady said that they shouldnt charge us cuz we only confirmed the thing today. Phew~! Praise the Lord!

And then we were contemplating calling in pizza. then blur blur me go and call and order on the spot. argh! so dumb rite? Dont know what I was thinking la! Never even ask anyone. Anyways, Kevin called to say put it on hold. So, I did. and thank God! EUnice found someone to cater for us. wow! haha.. really really thank God. I'm jus super super reliefed. haha..

Kevin and eunice, thanks a mil. So sorry you all have to settle it in the end. so so sorry =)

hmm.. dunno if you all will see this anyways, but if you do, I'm really really sorry.. and Thank you, THANK GOD! =D

SC commendation rehearsal

2006-07-13T19:23:00.000+08:00

Today there was a rehearsal for tmr's SC commendation. I must admit it was SUPER long.. haha.. but it was ok la.. talked to sfc pple that I've never spoken to b4. It was quite alrite.. Besides the fact that I was super tired that is. =)

haha.. today was a wonderful day! haha.. we only had math tutorial and econs lecture. the rest of the day was free! wow! haha.. PTL.. had a good time jus hanging around.. haha.. it was quite boring actually.. but ok la.. =) good rest..

ok la.. I gtg eat dinner.. see what else I can update next time..later~

Air Pistolling!

2006-07-08T23:53:00.000+08:00

YEAH!!!!! I never knew air pistolling would be so fun! haha.. yeah! I passed! haha.. ok la.. many people also passed. and those who didnt, it could have been a problem with the pistol also la. Cuz there was one pistol that was like super super OFF one la. haha.. and one of the triggers even got 'blown off'. I have no idea how it happened.

Well, my arm was aching like mad by the time the 10th shot was to be done. but yay! I can still feel my arms! haha.. It was nice.. Ok, comparing it with the one I got to shoot once in US, it is a totally different experience! In US, I was shooting a rotten orange in uncle mike's fron yard! haha.. It was so fun! like, a REAL pistol with a REAL bullet! lol.. this time, although it was only lead pallets thing, it was still quite fun. there was no deafening sound when we clicked the trigger, so, no worries about that. haha.. =) yeah.. but the good thing about the air pistol is that there is no recoil. hee =D I know i know, mayb I'm jus plain lousy,.. haha.. but oh wells.. I'm a beginner! =) spare me! haha..

I was just reflecting how different the settings in US and sg are. US, I was shooting in the open, no other accessory besides the ear muffler thing and the pistol. SIngapore? We had the air pistol, a table top, a target board thingy, air conditioned room, chairs to sit on behind for theory part of lesson and we didnt even need the ear muffler thing. haha.. US was so close to nature, I loved that. yet, in singapore, despite all the "comfort" of that confined space, it rocked la!! haha.., :D

okie.. I didnt expect this update to come so soon.. but I thought, since I'm here, I might as well do it.. when I can still rmbr how I felt during the thing, might as well blog about it rite now.. haha.. okie okie.. I'm SUPER tired. was tired since the moment I woke up this morning. haiz.. haha.. so so so so tired..

last paper on tues. thank God for my SUPER NICE math tutor. she's meeting me on monday for me to consult her.. so nice rite? haha.. I hope to clear ALL my doubts which by now, is almost everything! ahhH!!! save me! okie.. wish me all the best for my math paper.. It is suppose to be a subject I can score at. NOTE: SUPPOSE to be.. SUPPOSE.. haha.. :D

Thailand mission trip part 2

2006-07-06T11:39:00.000+08:00

haha.. ok ok.. I know it's been another million years since the last time I blogged. Sorry pple =) Well, here's the fill in for the rest of the mission trip.

ok ok.. Ruying, I know you want me to say this.. BANANA POCKY ROCKS!! haha.. yes. Banana pocky. I miss it.. Well, when we went to macro, we went to buy snacks as well rite? The great thing is.. they sell the snacks in BULK! haha.. so, Ruying dearie bought a whole box of banana pocky. Well, 20 boxes inside to be precise. haha.. and it has lasted since we came back until last week. She still has a box I think.. Ruying.. hor?? hahaha..

ok.. I dont really rmbr what else I wanna say..

Anyways, life recently has been rather hectic.

Well, exams are here and my studying was really rushed. thank God it is only one term's work. So, it is quite ok. A lil rush, but managed to finish studying so far. not so thorough, but did study a fair bit =) last paper on tuesday. after that can celebrate a while.

JM! I MISS YOU!! cant wait to see u and your camera. haha.. congrats on making your Panorama a success with the team. God bless u all!

Ben: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! :) see ya soon.. after exams that it. haha..

Thank God for the rain today. It really made my day. When I saw all the dark clouds in the morning and felt the strong wind blowing, it was like, woah! haha.. Oh ya, and I emjoyed walking in the drizzle today. It was nice to feel the rain on my skin.

Just now, I was waitin at the bus stop. then my nephew walked pass me and said 'bye aunty'. haha.. funny boy la.. hmm.. makes me sounds super old.. nvm! I know I'm young =) haha..

okie.. I'm going to eat my lunch soon.. take care you all!

oh ya, High School Musical Rocks! haha.. who watched? Raise ya hands up in the air =)

later!

Thailand mission trip 2006

2006-06-25T17:46:00.000+08:00

Yup! as many of you know, I went for a Thailand mission trip! It was AWESOME!! well, I will post what I wrote for my essay that I handed in for rangers. haha.. Cuz I'm a lil lazy to repeat the whole thing. so, yeah.. the following is my essay.. read on! =)

As a group representing Bethel Royal Rangers outpost number 1, we went to Chiang Rai for a mission trip from 16th June to 21st June 2006. God is good and He blessed us with a safe and quick journey from Singapore to Chiang Mai airport and from there to Chiang Rai. The van ride from the airport to Blessings church was approximately three hours. It was a good time to take short naps, take pictures of the beautiful scenery, and reflection.
Through out the trip, we had to travel around a lot. The first day was spent on buying of our logistics from Macro. The snacks there were so cheap; we all could not resist buying! We bought chocolates and sweets that we estimated would last us for the next five days or more. These did not come on a packet or two but boxes! So each of us bought some snacks each while looking out for the logistics for craft as well. The girls then decided that the craft we had initially planned needed to be scraped as we could not find the materials we wanted. So, we improvised! We decided to decorate cups and mini bottles instead of wristbands. The children in the various villages enjoyed it when we taught them how to decorate it and they made such lovely decorated cups too! We also bought balloons that could be twisted into shapes for the children. That was our back up craft that we had in mind.
Thank God the children had fun decorating their own little cups and also putting on the balloon hats that some of the commanders made. At Ayo Village, many children put the balloons in their mouths and ‘tasted’ them. It was a good thing none of them bit it till it burst. At least I did not see anything of that sort occurring. It was nice seeing the children having so much fun with the balloons and just playing with it in their different ways.
Next, it was amazing how the language barrier was overcome through the use of body language and hand signals. One thing I learnt was that a smile is a language that does not need to be taught. It does not matter if you smile at a child or an adult; they all reply you with a smile. In my opinion, a smile is an expression of friendliness and approachability. When I smiled at the children, they started opening up and smiled to me whenever they saw me for the rest of the day. Their smiles never fail to amuse me and bring warmth to my heart. Despite the simplicity of their lives, you can see the joy on their faces and in their eyes.
I really thank God for the children and how wonderful they are. One thing they taught me was the heart of worship. Looking at the simple way they worship and sing their hearts out to God, it really touched my heart. God reminded me that He does not look at our physical appearance but He looks at our hearts. When I saw a little boy about the age of two singing his heart out to God, it moved me and I was tearing. You could really see the Holy Spirit moving by looking at how the orphans were worshipping God wholeheartedly. I have never seen such pure and innocent love and worship unto God. So this is what it means to have childlike faith.
God is so so good! Through out the entire trip He watched over us. I remember how we were playing games and He provided such good sunny weather. Just when we finished our games and finished giving out the goody bags, it started to rain. What great timing! God is so good. The weather through out the trip was wonderful. It was never too hot or too cold. He sent sufficient sunshine and rain. And at all the perfect times too! I remember the sound of the heavy rain approaching during debrief at the end of the day. It was like the sound of a waterfall. Soon the heavy rain came down. It was so refreshing!
I am really grateful to have been given the opportunity to go for this mission trip. Really thank God for all the wonderful people who planned this trip for us too. This trip has taught me a lot and has opened my eyes to a lot of things. Really thank God for being with us and leading and guiding us. It would be good to go every year! =) Praise the Lord!

Leaders' Retreat 2006

2006-06-07T09:53:00.000+08:00

It was such a wonderful time being found in the prescence of God once again and just letting Him speak in you life through all the sessions and His word. It was amazing..sometimes, when you are in His prescence, you just forget all that's around you and you feel His wonderful love. It's such a wonderful feeling..

some people dont believe in God cuz they cant see Him. well, if someone touches your heart and is always there for you. If someone is always a conforter, ever forgiving and loving. It is hard to reject Him and say He's not real. Dont you agree? some may say 'but God has never touched my life. so why should I believe Him?' Well, did you allow Him in the first place? God is a God of love, and not a God of force. He gives us the free will to choose. He does not force us to love Him. He just loves us unconditionally and waits for us to reciprocate that love.

I really thank God for the leaders retreat. Pastor Danny was such a blessing and he is such an annointed speaker who is so lead by the spirit. He has shared so much and prophecied so much. My prayer is that one day I'll experience what it is like to be THAT close and in tuned with the Holy Spirit. It is such a wonderful thing to see what is being done in auzzie alone. If that could happen in Singapore? WhhhOOO!!!! We'll be on FIRE. I earnestly pray that day will come. well, Christians, lets all pray and interceed for our generation! :)

haiz..

2006-05-25T14:59:00.000+08:00

gonna get scolded by her again tmr.. I am bracing myself. but somehow, we are never ever prepared are we? there is always something we missed, something we did not forsee, something that is lacking. haiz.. anyways, the comfort lies in the fact that God is in control.

These few days are a bit.. erm.. down.. yeah.. wont elaborate.. Well, let's just unite in prayer that all who need comfort are comforted, and all who need love will be loved. yeah?

ok, besides that, all other things have been ok.. God granted me the desires of my heart 3 times this week! haha.. to be exact, almost 5. haha.. anyway, they were very small things, but it really made my day. or should I say, days. haha.. and thanks to all the wonderful pple who were there with words of comfort and encouragement. I really appreciate it. =)

jm: hey, once again, I am so sorry I had to keep changing my mind. Well, that day was also really a bad day for me as you know by now. But I wanna apologise for u having to run around ordering and canceling my order. I understand ya frustration. Was really hoping I could be there for your very very first performance. will TRY MY VERY BEST to be there for the next one yeah? miss u!

alright, I will just end here. next update.. hmm.. I dont know when.. soon I hope.. hols are coming!! Tmr there's SFC camp. I dunno if I'm looking forward to it. hmm.. but if we can survive AJTC, what could SFC camp do to us rite? haha.. me rather.. ok, lets see.. at least I dont think we have to do outdoor cooking.. yay! haha.. no dutch oven.. although, it was quite fun.. hee =D

okie.. take care! bye..

mr z: your pm coming NOW! haha..

weary...

2006-05-18T17:28:00.000+08:00

Hey all.. I am sorry.. I know it's been a million years since my last post. ha.. well, this week has not exactly been the best of weeks. but what can I expect rite? It's gonna be like that for the next 2 years unless something happens.. nvm.. dont wanna dwell.. lemme just say these past few days were full of tiredness, irritation, tears, anger, etc etc.. yet, I thank God. There are other things that have been so wonderful for this week.

1) We won Rugby champ!
2) We won hockey yester!
3) I have a wonderful class and MOST teachers are nice
4) daily p n w is spirit lifting =)
5) Yesterday cmdrs came to my place. enjoyed the company
6) I enjoyed my piano lesson
7) the week is coming to an end
8) cmdr elaine getting married this weekend
9) Godma came back from holiday safe and sound
10) SO MANY MORE

see, my life isnt that bad.. haha.. God is amazing.. He gives trials, yet he blesses with so much more so you dont get tooooo overwhelmed.. =) It was overwhelming at the moment, we are in the process of trying to do smth.. or so I hope.. let's just pray and see how things go.. I am so looking fwd to the weekend =)

btw: please keep me in prayer ok? thanks dearies.. =) later~ see u all in the next million years.. haha..

Project work

2006-05-01T14:31:00.000+08:00

yeah! yesterday we had our very first pw meeting at my place. PTL! it was good! we did not really progress in terms of our GPP. but we had time to help each other with our idividual PIs and to refine to one that we chose to do as our group PI. I think it is really cool that our group could jus click like that. haha.. looks like all our fears, or rather, all their fears are unheard of now. hahaha.. =) thank God.

Hamidah: now u have a new found friend! haha.. :D
YiJie: haha.. so so so so sorry I got you so lost.. :D
Nicole and charlene: glade to have u gals over. :D

yupps... and PTL for the 3 nights of Bible emphasis last week. although it affected my study time a lil, I dont regret it at all.. they were 3 refreshing and interesting nights, looking at the word. wonderful..

yupps.. that's about all I wanna say.. will update again another time.. :) happy labour day everyone! now I've gotta eat and start labouring academically. lol..

AJTC get2gether, sports day, blah blah blah..

2006-04-26T18:15:00.000+08:00

ok, upon request.. haha.. no la, I wanted to blog about it also, just too lazy.. AJTC get2gether was wonderful! haha.. ok, I dont know if everyone felt the same way. but I know I enjoyed it. haha.. we had food and chat. most of the time it was only one person talking. haha.. but it was hilarious. all the funny school jokes and camp jokes were coming free flow. haha.. super fun! thanks to my maid and mummy who cooked. simple dishes to eat. well, over all, totally enjoyed having that group over at my place. nice to meet all of u guys agaiN! =)

ok, today was sports day! we won the champion house!!! yeah!! yeah!! yeah!! haha.. ok.. this is like after how many years? =) yeah! great job to allthe pple who ran, jumped, throwed, etc etc! =) haha.. after that went with worm and chicken to PS. we ate and I watch a movie with chicken. we watched take the lead. it was soooo nice! personally, I loved it. =) so so so so so so love it. haha.. went to watch movie although I was broke because got this movie voucher thing to use. haha.. I know, sounds dumb to some pple.. but it is gonna expire, so quickly use lor. haha.. I mean, how often do u get to pay 4.50 for a tix? hee.. =D

and today, I found out my econs teach is an ex ex senior! haha.. yeah! Cedarians unite! it was such a wonderful suprise. I hope she gets posted back to SA and teaches us again. haha.. we have so much fun learning from her. haha.. =) unfortunately, I found out that I failed my econs test. =( it is so so saddening. well, tmr will get the paper back. so, gonna see where my mistakes or lack of knowledge were. oh wells, very sad la..

alrightey, going off now.. see u all! =)

Overnite cyling...Yeah!!

2006-04-23T14:43:00.000+08:00

YEAH! We did it pple! 50km! haha.. It was indeed a brand new experience. have never gone without sleep to cycle such a distance before. also, this is my first time cycling on the road as well.. initially it was a lil scary. but after that got use to it and futhurmore, the roads were so empty. It was also a wonderful feeling when we cycled back to east coast park and it was so empty and serene. We just cycled on whichever lane we wanted. haha.. felt like, so much freedom and space. I also had time to think things over and resolved what was bothering me that day. wont mention about that la. Cuz I thought it over le.

Ruying: not all the time shoving things on the shelf will resolve it. That's y I decided to spend time to think about it. =) thanks for being there though. thanks..

ok, we started cycling at 11.55pm and we finished at 6am? about there la.,.haha.. we had supper at changi village. thank God for giving us good weather. know what? when we stopped to eat, it rained, then when we finished eating, the rain stopped. isnt god amazing? haha..

alright, I have loads of homework to catch up with.. gtg le.. later! =)

These days..

2006-04-20T15:10:00.000+08:00

Have been blogging less and less yeah? yups. school work is really piling up. ans as my teach said, it's not just about completing the work now. it's about keeping the pile at a relatively low level. So true. Yet I know I am not working hard enough. Tiredness is my bad excuse. I always tell myself to work hard during the weekends, then something comes up. I just finish what is due the next day and leave the rest to accumulate. not that I am very free and procrestinate like in sec school as much. It's just that, school hours are sooo long and on top of that have piano and SFC.

Dont get me wrong, I am definitely NOT complaining cuz these are kind of my outlets for stress. (whatever little of that that I should be having now) haha.. yup! I am not exactly breaking down. in fact, I am pretty fine actually. my laziness adds to my well-being. if you know what I mean. I am now waiting to have geog bridging lecture. school ended at 1.15pm for me. but it only starts at 5.30pm. SO LATE! haha.. but nah, I dont exactly mind. It kinda forces me to do certain things that I have to do. (this not being an essential one la. haha)

ok, so yeaterday we got into our project work groups. haha.. I am in the same group as my nephew! lol.. PW doesnt seem to be going well at all. so many drafts have been rejected and now I realise how lousy my first draft was. now I realise my second one was not much better. It's like, I think I have put in enough thought, yet after being reprimanded as a class then I realise what I left out.

today, had econs test. I did not finish studying! ahhh!! well, studied most of it la. but not thoroughly. I so hope I dont get a C or worse still fail. but I know what is done has been done and I cant do nething about it. so, no point brooding rite? but I cant help stealing a thought or two for it. haiz~ nvm.

on the bright side, I got back my math quiz, earlier this week I think. and I think I was 2nd in class. yay! together with my nephew I think. haha.. lol.. I thought I was going to fail! lol. in the end, it was ok la. it was an A. yes. but the teach already told us it was an easy quiz. so, no bonus there. it waqs simply expected. haha.. oh well.. my folks were glad! :)

ok, going to have overnite cycling on fri and AJTC get-together this sat. I hope and pray that everything turns out fine. overnite cycling attendance may not be too good. especially for the O'level pple. dont worry guys! you all can do it de! Elhannah! esp u yeah! =) love yous and see you on sat. =) I wonder what we will do for the get-together. it;s at my place. but only having some food. activities? nil. hahaha.. we'll see how things go and see when I can blog again. later!

small world!

2006-04-17T20:22:00.000+08:00

haha.. I find this super amusing and surprising! haha.. to think my distant nephew is my classmate! I only found out on saturday. I was like, amazed. haha.. couldnt wait to tell him on monday. lol. so I told him this morning. saw an expression on his face I've never seen b4. dunno how to describe also la.

haha.. then so cute. borrow things from me say thank you aunty. haha.. now almost the whole class knows, and some are saying how I should step over him. so mean rite! haha.. it's just such a small world! haha..

anyways, it's been a nice day, thank God for the wonderful showers of rain. well, I was kinda looking fwd to ME, but the teach didnt show. dunno y also. so, ok lor. haha.. was in some sort of a dilemma today, told lio. but ok la. told daddy also, and I've decided not to brood over it since I do not have a serious conviction over this matter. like what my distant nephew said, (haha.. sounds funny) gotta think if it's worth it. and perhaps it was.

Good friday..

2006-04-15T10:07:00.000+08:00

last nite went to trinity to watch their good fri drama. it was really good and I enjoyed myself. PTL!! so many rededications and salvations. It's amazing what Jesus did for us on the cross isnt it? well, by the time I reached aljunied. it was already 11pm. haha.. then went to meet mum, dad, conrad, elliot, weili, lio, uncle chong po, uncle jason, aunty irene, luana, and their cousins. haha.. ok la, didnt know they were there, but we went to eat. it was their supper, my dinner. lol. I was ilegally eating twisties on the bus on the way to trinity. lol. =)

ok, the drama was great! great voices, and smart way of infusing the sermon into the drama. PTL! it was a good time. thank you antoinette. I really liked it. =)

ok, yester afternoon, I went out with JM. too bad we were not able to catch a movie. JM! yes, next week must go! haha.. or else our vouchers will go to waste. haha.. we plan which day ok? but my nxt week very busy. see how ba.

yesterday it was pouring like mad and JM, being the stupid girl she is, never bring her brolly AGAIN. haha.. then bring guitar summore. SMART la! haha.. (yes JM, I just insulted u) =D hahaha..

okie.I'm off now.. gtg do PI. haha..

Live concert!

2006-04-08T09:00:00.000+08:00

yeah! praise the Lord! Live concert was a success. Praise the Lord for the many salvations and rededications. =) It was good and the think the band did a great job too! great!

I never knew u were from SA! haha.. it's nice to meet familiar faces. It was a nice time talking to you too. =) see u around.

yesterday, played my new guit until my left index finger is sore. One whole night already and it's still sore. *ouch* but yeah, I am happy with it. as zelig said, it's nice to owna new instrument. especially now that it is MINE. hahahahhaa..

later going for outpost outing. yay! hopefulling ruying can join us even though she'll be late. that girl went for live concert too! yeah!! Ruying, was so happy to find out that u were coming. hope u had a good time, and I pray that God touched you. did He? =)

short post. a lot of homework waiting for me. update again next time. =)

My very own accoustic guitar!! =D =) =P :) :D :P

2006-04-05T22:43:00.000+08:00

haha.. yes. as some of you may know, my dad promised to get me my very own accoustic to celebrate the fact that I got into SAJC. today, daddy picked me up from school after SFC briefing for live concert. then he ask if I wanna go to the swee lee at sims drive there. I said ok. then this dude came to assist us. so, I chose this guit that I liked. well, firstly, i love the colour. just as I wanted, the colours are not sooo common. yups.. =) then it's an accoustic with plug ins and in-built tuner. how cool is that?! haha..

now, it's just too precious. must ask permission before using ok? and dont bang it yeah? haha.. and for the first time in my life, I actually owna bottle of guit polish and fret conditioner. lol. oh yes, and my very own guit strap of course. thank you so much daddy!!

well, initiall the guit was 600++ bucks. then dunno why got 50% discount. so,it became 538+ I think. then my dad ask, can disc summore or not? so, the nice dude took away the GST. in the end he only charged us $520. well, to me, it's still very ex, especially when I am not a pro at guit at all. but compared with 600++, it's really a good deal. haha..

the dude was so nice. PTL for that. =) as I was waiting to pay up and my dad went to browse around, he was asking if I was getting a guit cuz I did well in an exam or it was my birthday. haha.. I was like, 'nah.. cuz I appealed into a school and got in.' wouldnt wanna bore a stranger with the full story yeah.. so, he was nice and said smth like 'good. must rmbr to study and not just play guit all the time yeah?' so nice rite. haha.. then when my dad came back to pay up, he was like 'rmbr what I told u yeah? and take care'

Thank God. dont these kind of pple just make your day? haha.. not only did I get my very own accoustic. I got to meet such a nice person. Praise the Lord.

Pray for Live concert. praying that many lives will be saved. good nite guys! =)

cycling, cycling and more cycling.

2006-04-01T21:02:00.000+08:00

haha.. Yes! we went cycling today. We as in rangers. haha.. it was fun, but I am super tired, and my back is sching from all that hunching. haha.. 25km. very far lehs. haha.. but it was enjoyable la. sweating it out and fellowshipping a lil here and there. It was fun. Thank God for holding the rain for us, and giving us safety. although, delson did cut his hand, and there were some mini 'accidents' along the way, we are all still safe and alive! haha.. PTL! so, that's once step closer to out cycling merit. yay! but will have to find some time to write the reports. that is always the problem with us. haha..do the pract and then too lazy to do the theory. hee.. =D bad bad habit.

yesterday, for cell, gave my testimony about me getting into SA. so many pple are happy for me. it is such a wonderful feeling to know that pple are happy for you and rejoicing with u in your joys. and also knowing that there are always pple praying for you.

JM is facing some horrific moments in her life.haha.. actually, it's not la. but for the person gg thru it, mayb it is. I dont know, I've never been thru it. =D hee.. JM, dont worry, I will always be here if u need someone. we are JMs rmbr? haha.. I know I've been busy and cant talk to u as often as b4. but I will try to make it a point to meet u every week ok? if not, at least once a fortnite? haha.. miss u!

alrightey, I will not talk about the bad part of yesterday. if u wanna know, jus ask me la. haha.. I am too lazy to type, and I just wanna put it away for now. at least for the weakends. haha.. tmr got church! yay! cant wait.

things are getting better!!

2006-03-30T19:51:00.000+08:00

Had class outing to plaza sing today. Hamidah's first visit! wow! haha.. only 2 pple couldnt make it. it was great! haha.. I think I am beginning to love my class and love SA. haha..Praise the Lord. I am adjusting much faster as compared to sec1. PTL for that. and today was a goooood day. haha..

It's so wonderful starting everyday with Praise and Worship. It makes so much difference. =) It is just so wonderful to feel that things are getting better and feel so blessed. I dont know how to describe everything, but I just feel so blessed. of course still gotta adjust a bit, but I think things are getting much better. Thank God! =)

and know what? I met 2 other pple today who were from my pri sch! there was this warm feeling inside to see pple whom I have not interacted with for soo long! haha.. these 2 guys were like, my pri 3 friends I think. haha.. how cool is that?! lol..

some shout outs!:

zelig: thank you so much for your pm. It made my day. =)

wz: thanks for everything. take care yeah..

jm: I miss you!! see u tmr! haha.. then I can see u in that camouflage suit. hee =D

official 1st day at SA

2006-03-22T16:09:00.000+08:00

well, I must say I made some friends, got around a lil more, and got to buy the uniform. It was a rush to meet the supplier jus b4 flag raising, but thank God for daddy. He drove me to school, picked up the supplier who lives nearby, and dropped me off at school.

The skirt was too long, so I had to fold it. felt so weird. but no choice mah. at least I didnt stand out in my blue cedar uniform. haha.. honestly, I was quite offended when someone asked me if I was from commonwealth. but oh wells, these kind of mistakes do happen. As long as I am a cedarian at heart, that's all that matters yeah?

My goodness. SO MANY familiar faces in SA. From pri sch, from sec sch, friend's friends, etc. thank God for EVERYTHING. well, my day, all in all was pretty alright. But I dont know why I felt like crying when I was making my way home. same old adapting syndrome? I dont know. but one thing i know for sure, i am not looking fwd to pe and taf. haha! But if I dont die, ok lor.. lol. The stress seems to be getting back to me already. like, so many things la. I dont know how to verbalise it. nvm. I know I am in God's plan.

I dont wanna go on. i think I should just stop thinking, and just do the things I have to do. JC career is too short for me to think too much yeah? Well, thank God I have my daddy, mummy, kor, wz korkor, zelig, JM ruying, lio, etc etc..

JM: I am missing u so much already. I cant exactly be myself when I am there without u. haha.. pple are jus so different. but we will all survive somehow rite? ok. till next time, later~

SAJC.. God's promise, fufilled.

2006-03-21T20:20:00.000+08:00

yes. As almost the whole world knows cuz I told them, I have been accepted into SA! what are my emotions now? well, to sum it all up, REAAAAAALLYY blessed and nervous. ha! well, I feel super lost at the moment. I am sure things will settle down and I will grow to love the school. I am so so so so so sure that this is God's plan. not only was He stretching my faith, He had it all planned such that everything was JUST NICE. just b4 I bought my uniform, SA called. Just when I was feeling that TP was still not the place for me, SA called. just when I decided to leave it ALL in HIS hands, SA called. isnt our God just so amazing? this time, my faith has been stretched a great deal. and I have learnt that with God, all things ARE possible. =D Praise be to God.

Ruying: camp is never easy, but it's the bond with the pple that makes the camp rock so much. and personally, it was the encounter with God nightly as well.

Elhannah: oh ya. thanks for the reminder dear! know what? during the camp, we built a bridge and tower out of mere wood and ropes. pple climbed on it ok! dont play play. haha.. I must say, we did even better then the guys. ok la, not we say one la. but the guys did an awesome job too! =D AJs rock! rock on man!

alritey, I feel so bad that I made my dad run around just now going all over sg to buy the SA uniform when he is already so busy. Thank God for my daddy. without him, I wouldnt have learnt so much. learnt about what? everything in general la. =) tmr gotta rush to meet the supplier to get the uniform jus b4 school so I wont stand out in my blue uniform (no matter how cool) in a sea of whites. hahaha.. I am praying for courage to make new friends, keep a positive attitude towards my 'loss-ness' and to quickly settle down so I can start with CCA and studying. haha.. It's not that I am eager to study. but I am eager to get my JC career started and ending. haha!

please keep me in ya prayers yeah? love u guys. thanks and take care!

oh ya. btw: SO MANY PPLE FROM CEDAR IN SA. goodness! and yes, thank God for ken also. it's so nice to see familiar faces. although saw one face that I didnt wanna. it's ok la. not same class neways. lol. later guys~

Advanced Junior Training Camp (AJTC), yeah!

2006-03-18T17:31:00.000+08:00

ok, I think I only told JM that I will be going to camp. yup. another training camp. In my opinion, it was tough at times but on the whole it was SPLENDID! haha.. fun too. The prescence of God could be felt during the council fires at night. and God used the pastor to speak into my heart. at that point of time when the pastor told me what God wanted me to know, i couldnt help but weep. It was something like, i know it was a problem yet I never really saw it as a problem? ok, I bet no one knows what I am saying now. nvm.

I just broke camp at about 2.30pm. haha.. graduation was so cool! haha.. AJTC really showed what we are made of. well, ok, our presentation was very screwed up. BUT, that was only one screw up out of the millions of other skits, cheers, yells, song, etc etc.. haha.. COOL! great job AJs! I really pray that our friendship will last. In fact, this time, there was already a bond there cuz many pple in AJTC were the same as the pple who went to last years JTC.

just came back from fetching elliot from RR in church. saw many pple. serene is growing prettier and prettier! my goodness.. life's jus not fair. haha! oh wells, and during RR fall out parade, Rayvin was like watching and the expression on his face was like 'I rmbr doing this once' haha... it was cool. then saw bryan. He spoke to me as if he were so much older then me. haha.. asking me to study hard, which sch I am in, etc etc. well, it was cool. have not really spoken to him like, SPOKEN to him for some time.

Well, I really thank God for the many friends He has put in the path of my life. although some of these friends we seldom see, or we are just 'hi-bye' friends, they are still crucial to some point in our lives. haha..

oh ya! last night, during camp, out dutch oven choc cake and lasagnia ROCKED! haha.. like TOTALLY ROCKED!!! lol.. uncle sandy said our cake was 'the best cake in the world' yeah!! my dear falcons, dont give excuses ok. it's not jus bout the choco. haha.. =D Bobcats, well done! we got our Gold medal once again! indeed we have reached our goal! haha.. yeah!

may our friendships last forever and may we remember all that we have learnt in the camp. see u all next year! haha! love ya all.. It's been a great time.

(I think I've missed out a lot of things from the camp, but my pia matter is jus not functioning at the mo. lol. =D)

yesterday.....today......tomorrow.....

2006-03-12T18:18:00.000+08:00

wat happened yester. hmm..ok.started da day by sendin may jiejie 2 the airport.she went bck 2 philippines for 3 mths cuz her mom's sick.she teared aft hugging conrad n I. =( I miss her so much already.@ the mean time,we hav a temp.she's really nice too. but jus like all pple,she'll need time 2 settle in n get in2 a routine 1st.but so far she's cool. =)

Aft tt,went 2 elliot's sch 2 watch him run in sports day.yeah! this bro of mine is a proman!haha.. I love my whole family la. =) his grp did a kind of relay thing.his grp came in 2nd!yeah!great job moosey!haha..

then I went 2 meet ruying.it was suppose 2B for lunch b4 BJTC.howeva,neither of us felt like eatin.so I ate fries at mac while she drank ice milo.haha..name e basic 2 drinks tt ruying drinks?

1) H20

2) ice milo

=D hahaa..

then for BJTC,it was quite boring.like, I sat thru it b4.lol..so I read a book 'secrets of the vine'. then started playin hp games.lol..yup..then we had alot of time 2 spare so ruying n I played keyb n slacked ard.lio was lookin super bored.haha..delson didnt cum cuz he was in m'sia.lio was like the only guy amgst us 3.haha..ok,so we revised ropecraft 4 this week's trainin camp,n learnt the theory of cleanin a bike. =) poor lio sounded kinda stressed up wen he called in the morning.mayb it was cuz of HER ba.wont go on.I'm jus guessing.he needed to bring a bike,asked me if I cud bring 1,so got my dad 2 bring 1.ok.settled..thanks dad!

In rangers I had 2 buy new rangers shirt.it was SOOO big.ok,I'm fat so the width was ok, jus more baggy.but the length was TOOO long.haha..imagine if I pull the shirt straight, it's almst at my knee.hahahah..

today,I'm happy!!haha.bought a guit bag from swee lee.haha..it was $24.but dunno y got 20% disct.so, it was only $20.15.2 think dad wanted me to jus go yamaha n get da $30++ one which i wasnt reely interested in.haha..nt my dad's fault la.he tot we wer gg 2 PS 2 eat mah.then wan me 2 spend time eatin wif da family.but in da end,mum suggested eatin @ bras basah which is where I wanted 2 scout 4 guit bags.yeah! I like da one i got.I mean,how nice can it get la.haha..but,I like it!feel a sense of POSESSION!! =D lol..

tmr got guit xchange,only playin Adante,but I'm lookin fwd 2 hearin da senirs and other schs playin their pieces.yeah!ciao pple!God bless. =D

a visit from kor..

2006-03-09T17:42:00.000+08:00

yupps.. my kor came to visit last nite. kor, xing ku ni le. haha.. he came to visit and in the end he had to give conrad 'tuition' haha.. Thank God for that tho. but he was already so tired then still stayed up with us till 1+am before he went to meet lio. we went for supper mah. then this morning I almost coma. haha..

well, it was definitely a good time spending time with kor. It has been such a long time since the last time we ate together. (as i recall) we didnt eat dinner together, but had supper.

haha.. I wonder how daddy's doing. He has sch till 10pm this evening. then for the past few weeks he sleep very lil also. really worry for his health and feel like forcing him to go and sleep. but there's no way I can do that is there? haiz~ what to do?

today was another boring day. oh wells, just one more dead boring day to go. haha.. seriously, I'd rather be having a full timetable. lol. went with Jm to TM just now. we were so down after chinese. like depression man. haha.. kidding la. but, we were feeling so down and tired. but an ice cream healed all that! =D it's so nice to be able to see JM 5 days a week again. haha..

yesterday, had guitar pratice. I think I was the only one from the 2nd intake who went. then others just join yester. but cuz of JM I went. one word, FUN! haha! It was quite stressful to play during ensemble to think these pple I am playing with have been practicing for at least 2 months and I, a newb was playing with them. haha.. but it was so totally fun. =) JOIN GUITAR! next mon, going with them for the guitar exchange prog. cant wait! haha.. I join them for one day and now I am going on an outing?! haha.. how cool's that? lol. thank God la. if not for JM I think I will just be bumming around with nothing to do.

now, the dilema. to desire SA still or to remain content with Tp. cuz frankly, I am content. but I dont know if this is what God really wants for me. I guess I will know by the end of this week. have been praying. pray along! =)

TAKE CARE YOU ALL!!