Precious Moments..

Violence is Key! wahaha!













Awww.... That's what friends are for.












Familiar? I actually miss studying lit at all the different cafes in marina square and milenia.













Look at my "extra" nephew in the background? haha.. Yi Jie, you actually look normal in this photo! :D











Say Ahhhhh......






I guess all I am saying is that I REALLY REALLY MISS SCHOOL TIMES! not the studying of course. but I miss you guys so so much and I wish I could see you all everyday. Keep in touch ok?

Looking back, memories are really really precious. Everytime I look back, I am reminded of how much God has used my friends to bless my life and make me feel so loved.

picture time 1 :D

My first attempt on uploading a pic! hehe.. more to come in the future here I hope. I intended to upload tonnes more but it errored on me :D so here's just one.
Man! I miss school badly- note, not the studying!! :) hehe

Life

Can you believe it?!?! its February and this is only my first post! heh.

Well, in general, working life has caused me to think more in every aspect. I think about what I like, what I hate, what I respect, what I value, what I detest, what God can do through me, what God is doing TO me, etc etc etc...

In summary, its been a hard time for me. Sometimes, I do realise I am a real weakling in many aspects. and then at other points in time, sometimes I think there are some things i jus cannot stand. where do we draw the line between sticking through something and when to decide to stick by your ideals? Obviously i understand life is not perfect- it has never been! but when should we stick it through and strive to survive and when should we just throw in the towel and decide that we dont NEED to deal with this.

Honestly, I have my own opinions and ideas, etc.. but my parents also say its dangerous too have TOO strong an opinion. sigh. sometimes, i wish life could just be stated plain in a book. but then again, we then realise how dull life would be. how ironic right? the "colour" of life can be so dull-ing.

Anyways, one thing i am thankful for through these days of working, is that I am slowly realising what I like and what i do not like. at least now there are certain things on my "ambition list" that are outright nonos now. heh.

During my current job, I proclaimed to my dad that this is going to be my last admin job. but I think I take it back (yes Grace. I take that back). cos the more I think about it. the more I realise admin jobs are the jobs that allow you to indirectly observe all other kinds of jobs. corporate world, schools, businesses, music schools, trading companies, etc etc. Provided they have vacancies of course. So anyone out there has an admin job for me? hahaha..

Lastly, just wanna mention a movie I watched with Ruying today. It was "Away From Her". Personally, I think it was a really good show. Dont know if I can call it literary, but it was really painful to watch. Dont get me wrong. It was not painful to sit there, but rather, the story was so heart wrenching yet so true. go watch it! I'm not sure if other places are showing it though. We watched it an Cathay Cineplex.

Alright, I've gotta get ready to sleep already. counting down to only I know what. hopefully.... 16 days and counting downzzzz....

Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! =) 10 more days of Christmas to go! hehe.

I really think Christmas is the best celebration time of the year. The gatherings; meeting up with people you don't always meet, the "Christmas atmosphere"; beautiful Christmas trees and decorations all over the place to put everyone in the mood, and the exchanging of gifts and cards to show our love for one another. I love it every moment of Christmas.

This year has been truly memorable, frantic, and yet still enjoyable. Got to meet up with both sides of the family but was tired from mission trip, holiday and leader's retreat, then was trying to rush the goodie bags for everyone while trying not to go broke. haha.. it was indeed eventful. Then to our horrors, caroling was going to be canceled. BUT (yes, always a but) it came to pass! Praise the Lord. in my opinion, it was a testing time, and our faith was tested. and thank God it pulled through. without sam getting the people to come and ivana getting the transport plus the many ARs, ERs and commanders turning up, caroling wouldnt have happened. so THANK YOU ALL SO SO MUCH! and i hope you all had fun =)

I also wanna thank Eunice who invited us to carol at NUH. it was a new experienced and I loved it. Really experienced of spreading the good cheer to all around. Thanks eu! You've made this Christmas a really special one.

and looking ahead, there still seems so much to do. haha.. mayb i am just creating things to do for myself. well, i'd rather have this then a tv, food and bed schedule. heh.

Final thought: who's excited about the new year? I know i am! haha.. found a job for january. hopefully its enjoyable, im really really looking fwd to it =)

Once again, Feliz Navidad!

finally over..

was just contemplating how so often we have only dreamt that this day would come sooner or later. yet when it finally arrives, its just a 'ok.... now what' kind of moment. then we slowly realise the freedom we have-like, seriously.

i dont know. mayb its just me being slow or something. but its taking me hours to realize i am in actual fact FREE. ok, not freedom in every sense of the word. but yes, free to sit and stone without feeling guilt, free to watch brainless cartoons without having the nagging to-do-list at the back of my mind, free to not even HAVE a to-do-list. basically, free to be aimless while choosing my own direction. know what i mean? nvm.

yes, i watched enchanted AGAIN. sorry la! i know its the kind of movie u just go like HAHA! but i cant help it and i actually thought a lot about it when i watched it the 1st time-no no. not about finding true love..- more like, my outlook of love and probably the "producer's" opinion of love. like i said, its not that i can help but think :) anyways, childhood things just dont get old- i think. hmmm... haha..

what should i do tmr? we'll see! ciao for now :)

Bad Day in History

So I thought I'd build a shield around my heart
In hope that all hurt shall depart.
Then to my horror I realized
I had no heart left to desensitize-
For you yourself had scoured it out,
Leaving behind a void-my crater of doubt.

back and gone and back and gone and back and gone....

its been such a long time and there is always so much inertia just to sign in. moreover, the recent past kinda formulates emotions too personal to publish out in the open. anyways, here i am! and I am guessin hardly a soul drops by here anymore. haha..

so, A levels are finally coming to a close. ok, 9 more days to go.. but only one paper! these few days have been spent relaxing and it tastes so so good. wahaha! *evil laughter* maybe i am slacking off more then i should. hmmm... OH WELL.. haha. seriously, i cannot wait for everything to be completely, totally, finally OVER. life has begun but it cannot really start till let paper 4 is over! so yes, i shall attempt to gear up into studying again =)

in retrospect, i've got a million things to thank God for. wait till thanksgiving!! haha.. kidding kidding. what i mean to say is that looking back at my 2 years in SA, it has proven to be so so so much more then expected. even to the very last moments He is blessing me with new and interesting experiences all the way.

one thing glory and i were talking about the other day was how it would seem that we have been extracted from our usual groups to study together and as a result even made "new friends". ok, maybe they are not COMPLETELY new. but we look around and realise how some people have been a part of out lives all this while but we've never really talked to them and stuff. yeah. its been a good time mugging.

and yes, i really am going to miss the mugging times we've all shared. the late stays in the library and cafe, and the milo plus coffee from the aunty at the malay stall. then there are the sunday study dates that are usually very "cozy" cos so few people turn up! haha.. no matter =) those times were great too.

one thing i've realised this year. memories are seriously crucial to me. its like, when i lost my photos because my SD card screwed up, i cried as if someone died. well, theoretically, my memories sort of died. that sounded silly to many but it really meant a lot to me and it was really depressing to realise it was all lost at once. so many photos and videos. heh. tech and me just dont go together. anyway, i learnt a valuable lesson- BACK UP ALL THE MEMORIES!!! ha.

hello hello? testing...

It's really been such a long time! Lets see. Those who still read my blog-whatever there is to read- raise your hands up in the air!!




-SILENCE-




Hehe.. ok ok.. I dont even know what I am doing here honestly. I am suppose to be studying for my geog test. Well, I am studying ok! Feeling happy that I decided to study for the test after all. I think I have been neglecting geog too much. I know it is too late for regrets, so might as well get off my bumm and start doing something right?! Yupp! So that is what I am gonna do, or already am doing.

you know, sometimes you just feel like giving up, but when you look at the teachers who have so much hope in you or they refuse to give up on you, it just gives you a whole new motivation? yeah.. that's why i am studying mass movement for tmr's test. Dont wanna let out geog teach down you know..

Right. So what else should I talk about? have not blogged for so long, my blog would prolly become some pre-historic/ancient relic. Sorry la! really too busy and lazy to bother blogging. And most things are either "not blog worthy" or just top personal to be on a blog.

You'd prolly have guessed by now that I am clueless as to what to say cos everything that is coming out seems so random and scatter-brained. heh!

OH YA!! I can talk about how stressed-nervous-afraid-butterfly.stomached- I am feeling right now! haha.. In some ways I am excited hoping that I will play my pieces well and sing well, and sight read well... Yet I am so afraid that I will screw up. and seriously, ever since this new teach came, I have this new "realization". As in, somethings sparked within me. A kind of new emotion towards my music. Ok, theoretically, not MY music, but you get my drift. (ok, if you dont then nvm. I dont blame you when the person blogging is completely muddled and feeling dumb =p)

yeah, wish me all the best! and if I am not too lazy, I might just blog on what happened, how it went, did I screw up, etc etc etc..

On a completely separate and random note... Today was such an entertaining day. Ended on a good note. We are all baboons! HA!

the great commission!

Today I learnt a crucial lesson.

The great commission is not that hard to obey.
The barriers in our mind are not essentially existent.
Let NOTHING hinder you!

Amen!! =)

Happy Chinese New Year!!

I know I should not even be posting now since I have loads of work to be done (aka- undone!). But I cant help myself. I'm feeling so stress, yet there is this peace inside of me. I dont know how to explain it. It is not a comforting kind of peace though. In some sense, its like, a peace, knowing that I will survive through tonight. But looking at the next half of the week, I just feel like sitting in a corner, and do just that. yes! sit in a corner and do nothing important! haiz~

Anyways, CNY has been awesome! It felt like I was on my one month vacation kinda thing. Everyday we went visitation or people came to visit. Then going to the supermarket actually felt so good somehow. I felt as if I didnt have anything else to do (actually I did. But i refused to think of that), and was completely relaxed!! haha.. and got to see all my cousin darls! it's just so nice to see family. Really.. sadly, we dont get to meet often. I wish we could been like every week or something. That day, I was just telling my mum that relatives (cousins, aunts and uncles-esp cousins) touch a certain spot on your heart. Know what i mean? Like, knowing that these people are actually people whom God has chosen not to give u a choice about! know what I mean? haha.. It's a nice, warm and fuzzy feeling seeing them, knowing that u are FAMILY. Feels so good =)

yupp... lots to be done and I've gotta go. either ways, I'm glad cny was such a blast! =)

*frantically carries on doing homework while waiting for the soon approaching weekend*

Later!! =)

Friends, God-sent blessings..

Ever felt like the whole world was about to crash upon you and there seemed to be no route of escape? Like something was creeping up you, drowning you, suffocating u? Yeah, that was pretty much how I felt today-in general. Basically, I hated that feeling, and I prolly had a frown upon my face more then usual. Many noticed, and commented. but I couldnt help it. Then I was praying like "God! help me! I cant see myself surviving today. Please save me." I was worried and stress, although I knew there was no point in feeling so. I guess it was the tiredness as well.

But praise the Lord! Despite all the frustration and stress and unhappiness- this will not be elaborated on-, God sent... FRIENDS! Last nite, had Grace dear promising to be my indirect total defender and being so sweet, then had hugs from Eunice (cuz she needed it), then on the way to Vivo, so many crappy conversations and "arguments". Grace, Steffi, Wan, Midah, Ming Tuan, Joel, Nic, Char-shit, Jeanette, Eunice, Glory, Daryl, Jon, Kevin, Dave, Darren, Michelle Tan, David, Ruying and Mervin! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! mayb you all are not even aware, but you all really made my day in one way or another. And I am not just saying (or typing) this. You all have made me laugh, or lightened my burden, or simply WERE there. thanks a million. I really thank God for u guys. I dont know how I would have survived today without all that.

Isn't God amazing? I know I've said it time and again, but I can never say it enough. It is as if he puts this boulder in front of u and asks u to jump over it. but it's way way way over your head! Yet, He just says 'try!'. And when you decide to throw yourself into His plan, and just do as He says... Just before you jump, He brings along all your friends who lift you over to the other side of the wall. Does this make sense? hmm.. Indeed amazing.

Hey guys! May you all continue to enjoy the next half of your week! =) God bless, and remember to place Him as TOP TOP priority ya? so long~

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you..."

Every little thing's gonna be alrite

Yeah, I am back once more. Hmm.. if pple actually DO read my blog. haha.. but in a way, my blog is not just for others, but for me as well. So, as long as I am here, my blog will never be completely dead rite? haha..

These days have been long, but Praise the Lord! Despite the tiredness of everything, and the occasional tears of confusion, frustration and "pain"- not physically; God has been awesome and so great. Ever felt that life has a certain humour about it? Like, the ppl u least expect to be there are the ones who actually pray things thru with u, or are the ones whom u have pleasant conversations with? God has really been so good.

I feel that my time in SA has really been the most stretching yet enjoyable times-of school life of course. Things that God has been trying to teach me finally become clear, and start to take form. Things that I could not overcome before have slowly come to pass, and with Him, I managed to do it!

Yes. Indeed, every little thing is gonna be alrite-in the end, especially in God's hands. He has proven to be so amzing time and again. It is too mind-boggling to describe sufficiently really. All I can say is, we never know what it is like till we feel it. press on! =)

Ok, I'll end with the lyrics of the song "Every little thing"-obviously where my blog title came from =) haha.. its by Delirious?, and it spoke to me yesterday while I was just singing it through as I worshipped in my room yesterday. tata~

--Every Little Thing--

Everything must change

There’s a mirror showing me the ugly truth

These bones they ache with holy fire

But I’ve got nothing to give, just a life to live

If your world is without colour

I will carry you, if you carry me

Every little thing’s gonna be alright

Every little thing’s gonna be alright

[x2]

There’s no-one else to blame

I live my life between the fire and the flame

I’ve built my house where the ocean meets the land

It’s time to live again, pull my dreams out of the sand

Let your world be full of colour

I will carry you, if you carry me

When it’s all falling down on you

You’re crying out but you’re breaking in two

When it’s all crashing down on you

When there’s nothing you can do

There is someone who can carry you

Written by Martin Smith/Stuart Garrard ©2003 Curious? Music UK

hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello .........

I'm finally back and this blog is dead! okay, its not dead since I am here. So I should say its jus a vegetable. and this is going to be an ultra short entry cuz I am in a rush for GP. feel so bad la. I was suppose to send it last night. but didnt get to sit down and do till now. so so so so sorry......

Anyways, I wanna thank the WORM!! thanks wan! she has been such a blessing in my life, especially this week. This is clearly and indeed God-sent. Praise the Lord. Thanks a million dear! dont know what I would have done without u. It was so spiritually refreshing and I felt really really blessed to be able to share so openly and jus encourage one another, hearing each other out. praise Him!

This week will be a better one! it already is! haha.. the work and all is standard madness. I just cant wait for the rest of this year to unfold (and quickly!) haha.. basically, I cant wait for it to end. Jus the A'lvl part. SFC, A4, Friends, fellowship... School rocks! homework, studying... school is okay. ha!!

oh ya, My Girl is making me miss all those times and all those emotions. sigh~ is it wrong to crave something of the past? something pushed aside and attempted to be forgotten? am I being 'ungodly' or is it natural human behaviour? missing it, yet deciding to forget. Recalling the past, yet saying, "it's over"!

Finally, WELCOME BACK TO SINGAPORE to uncle Chong Poh!!! =) Now he is tall DARK and handsome. hahaha...


sayo everybody~ will be back... whenever =)

Breathe in......Breathe out.......And then it all begins...

Inhale, then EXHAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLEEEEE................. hooooooooooooooo.........

What was that all about? my mood =) haha..

So nervous, yet excited, yet tired, yet happy, yet scared about next year. My only comfort lies in "God has a plan for me". A 'level year next year. How will I do? Will it be another screw up (like my O's)? As long as I give my best, it is ok to screw up (in a way. cant phrase it properly, but u know what I mean). cos looking back, I gave my best for O's (only after prelims. heh), but God blessed me by miraculously placing me in SA after a loooong test of faith. It was trying, but Praise the Lord, He made me make it through! =)

Next year, I definitely wanna have a life. I know it is almost impossible, but I AM going to have a life. It may not be having 100% of my life, but I am choosing right here, right now, not to neglect...

1) Family
2) Friends
3) Rangers (unless somebody forces me=( )
4) Church
5) Spiritual growth, aka QT

There is a season and time fro everything rite? the season may be to study, but there are different times in this coming season rite? I'm sure anthea will find the time to enjoy life, even if its for a second (or two, or three, or four, or five? haha......) - that's prolly the part mum's worrying about. haha!

School's in tmr, and holiday's out! sigh~ but I am super-duper-uber-ultra-mega thankful for this holiday. it was a great time of relaxing (although there was lots of work-not jus homework), and fellowshipping. It was awesome! really. only the homework part was madness. I finished 80% of it? but it was 99% done during this week. eeks!

Alright, I better be off now.. Gotta prepare all my worksheets, homework, etc, for tmr. See u all at morning worship! (hope I wont be late. I dont want to be late anymore!!! ha)

Later guys~ Have a blessed, awesome, supreme, happy, joyful, God guided school term ahead!!! :) Loves.

Being True To Yourself!!

I've just realised that it has been such a long time since I type about a topic. Actually, I cant really remember, have I ever typed about a topic before even? haha.. Ok, this is no different from my other posts la. yeah? It is just that I have been pondering lately (a few years!!)...

What does it really mean to be true to yourself? Why are there so many people who simply cannot enjoy just being themselves? Is it so important to be someone else? Or, to even try to be someone else? Don't people know that their insincerity to others (and themselves) is so obvious to some? I don't know if everyone sees that insincerity, but I do (or at least I think I do). And sometimes (or most of the time), it just irks me. hmm.. I really wonder, does it irk me cos I am judging others? or is there something that needs to be changed? or is it both ways?

I mean, when u try to be someone, though others may seem to like the "fake" u, dont u feel that u owe something to your true self? how do u feel really? it is kind of frustrating, yet I cant do anything. I know I can help me be true to myself (or at least try). but as for others, there is nothing I can do is there? haha.. let's see, am I ranting or am I making a point? lol.

sometimes, the thing I fear is that I become the person I despise. how?

hmm...

Homework homework homework....

yes! that is all my life is going to be about during the next few days. okay, I am exaggerating, although that shouldn't be the case. I have every single piece of homework untouched, except for the two lit essays that we have handed in so far, and our journal entries. Not something I am proud if, but, beat that! goodness. I cant believe the trouble i am in right now. but somehow, the complete stress I was feeling these days isn't affecting me so much now.

It is probably due to the fact that I know my time was well spent, and it was not due to my complete laziness that nothing was done. okay, I was not the most hardworking person this holidays. But it was really the busiest holiday I've ever had. BUT BUT BUT, no regrets there AT ALL! It was one of the most fulfilling and enriching holidays of my life, as well as one of the most enjoyable. yes yes, I admit, all my holidays have been enjoyable. who wouldn't enjoy a break away from sch rite? yupp. Thank God! I am so glad for holidays. Despite the mad rush, having mere hours of break in between each phase of holidaying. haha.. It was fun!

And now, 2007 is approaching. Hmm.. I'll be thinking about my resolutions for next year. Although, i don't usually base my day to day life around those goals. haha! But no harm planning and trying rite? I cant remember all my 2006 resolutions, but I know I should have accomplished most of them.

Caroling was awesome for me. I mean, not the best ever, and the fun was not as "high". But it was special. Firstly, JM made it! =) secondly, there were so many "new" people. As in, PGO people came too! that was really nice. And the sleep over, got to talk to Jane quite a bit.and a Christmas visit from Li Ju! (highlight!) It is amazing how I look back, and just marvel at how I can still be close to my pro sch friends when I hardly see them at all! It's awesome, really.. Oh yes, and comm Sera with Jeff. ahh.. may all your wishes, prayers and dreams come true =)

Merry Christmas! 9 more days of Christmas to go!! :D hee...
On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me..................... (eee! I hate that song! wahhaa)

Happy Christmas All !!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! :)

woah.. these few days have been so good yet so painful. hah! good for the soul, painful for me pockets =( but, its the season of giving! so, its been a joy!hahaha...

Cant wait for this week's activities to happen! it's gonna be fun fun fun! =)

See u all. sorry this is so short, but I am not in the "expressing mood". haha!

Later~

1st piano less with new teach...

For those of u who actually READ my blog! haha.. remember that time when I was talking about having a change in piano teach to a private teach? yupp. this morning was my first lesson. JUST now in fact. my worries were not founded =) for me, there is good news and bad news. well, good news, as I've said, she's not scary, fierce and all that. She's nice, easy to talk to-approachable.

The flip side? hmm.. perhaps it is just human nature to dislike certain types of changes? mayb it's just anthea nature. heh. oh wells.. perhaps I am jus not used to this different style and character. I kinda miss the "old way". "kinda" is an understatement actually =( but I know I cant afford the time, going back and forth places during my A'levels next year.This would be the best arrangement.

But seriously, mayb I am just being plain unadaptable. I dont know. I mean,what more can I ask for right? all my fears have already been "taken care of". cant be too demanding eh? haha.. sigh~

okay, just needed to get this off my chest. hols are a mad rush. tata for now.

Island of Friends...

What is "Island of Friends"? It's the name of the upcoming camp that Saints for Christ is running with Saints Fitness. While I am rather upset about how messy, last minute and rushed this camp seems to be, it has thought me several things, and I am grateful for those lessons learnt. What have I learnt? Read on..

1) The impossible is only impossible if u tell yourself it is!
2) 14 heads put together work MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH...... better then ONE! haha :)
3) A LOT of planning and work goes into planning a camp. (Thanks to all the wonderful commanders who plan camps for us every year! small scale is tough enough, talk about BIG scale! gosh. eternally grateful!!)
4) No matter how busy we are, there are times to take a break and INHALE!!!

ok la.. I dont know what else I have learnt.

This week and the week before, Ruying got to stay over. so, happy me :) we talked till the wee hours in the morning again! really missed that! and the next day had meeting!! ahhh!!! almost died. but I survived!! lol. it is good to have sleepovers and have heart to heart talks :)

Ok, here's my update. have to leave the house soon. meeting gracie poo to pass her consent form and packlist. haiz.. up till now, I've not been to ubin for a single recce yet. WHAT TO DO??!!

oh wells, later!

*Yawns*

I am kinda bored, or should I say, jus plain lazy. HA! Well, I actually planned to do intensive practicing for my OP today, for like, an hour? then I wanted to eat lunch, then go to the library to just relax and read. I planned to leave the house at 1230pm today, but I am still at home now, and it's 130pm. haha! I think I will go la. It's jus a matter of time. When i type this finish, when I finish my lunch (yes, Im still eating it), and when I get changed and all. Mayb I wont even go out after all. Very lazy. Ok, see how la.

Practiced for OP jus now. Hmm.. am I too soft? am I swallowing my words? am I making sense? am I still being too boring due to my nerves? argh! somebody SAVED me!! I cant wait for OP to be over. I cant wait for the entire PW to be over and done with!! Lord, sustain me! sustain us!

Yesterday was my long long long camp com mtg. Shaun and David were being annoying by continously calling me on my mobil when they were right in front of me! naughty ah u two!! ask wan lin to stare at u all then u know. then we went fro tau hui. it was nice to sit there and jus relax. Kevin was talking about studying together later during this year. Im all for it man! without external pressure, I will jus be lazy and not get anything done. especially when november is considered a no holiday season for me this year. =(

ANYWAY, will most prob be gg out with family tonight since it's conrad's last paper. yay! Cant wait to get out of the house, especially when its not for the purpose of work of any sort =) hee..

Alrightey, later~