It's just on days like these that you realise you have lost the fighting spirit.
The exhaution of finding joy in the things of the past.
Something that was so essentially you and now it is gone.
Your willingness to let go surprises yourself,
and you wonder who you have become.
these days have been kinda weird. like, the constant waking up at the start of the day, feeling the tiredness as if it were the end instead. Sleep clouded with a myriad of dreams, nothing in particular. nothing significant even! just an active mind i guess. then instead of the usual ponders and simple joys, moments reel on, speeding towards the end and before i blink, its time to crawl into bed again. oh boy.. what a terrible way to go through day(s). think i might be coming down with something. hopefully not. then it'll pass soon.
not that i have even been a fighter. but today i have just realised my willingness to let go of something that is so inherently me. like, in these moments of tiredness u just stare blank, draw in a deeeeep breath, and go "oh well.. not like i can or (at the moment) want to do anything about this right now." so not me. i guess, in reflecting on all of this, i'd rather feel sadness, pain, confusion and provoked rather then indifferent. it pulls an air of dehumanisation and desensatisation that is honestly, quite scary.
haha.. no wonder i insisted on my 8 hours of sleep right? HEE... but i have not been taking my own advice. so mmuch to do... so little time... (as opposed to Garfield's "so much time... so little to do...") silly orange cat! :D hahaha..
The exhaution of finding joy in the things of the past.
Something that was so essentially you and now it is gone.
Your willingness to let go surprises yourself,
and you wonder who you have become.
these days have been kinda weird. like, the constant waking up at the start of the day, feeling the tiredness as if it were the end instead. Sleep clouded with a myriad of dreams, nothing in particular. nothing significant even! just an active mind i guess. then instead of the usual ponders and simple joys, moments reel on, speeding towards the end and before i blink, its time to crawl into bed again. oh boy.. what a terrible way to go through day(s). think i might be coming down with something. hopefully not. then it'll pass soon.
not that i have even been a fighter. but today i have just realised my willingness to let go of something that is so inherently me. like, in these moments of tiredness u just stare blank, draw in a deeeeep breath, and go "oh well.. not like i can or (at the moment) want to do anything about this right now." so not me. i guess, in reflecting on all of this, i'd rather feel sadness, pain, confusion and provoked rather then indifferent. it pulls an air of dehumanisation and desensatisation that is honestly, quite scary.
haha.. no wonder i insisted on my 8 hours of sleep right? HEE... but i have not been taking my own advice. so mmuch to do... so little time... (as opposed to Garfield's "so much time... so little to do...") silly orange cat! :D hahaha..
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