Ok, today was a reelie bumpy day. Woke up fine, went fer breakfast fine, and did a lil homework FINE! Then when i wanted to get changed fer rangers, elliot kept knocking at da door. I mean, I was already tryin to hurry, cant he jus wait. Ok, I was a lil pissed, but ok...
Ok, I was NOT ok. I was gettin pissed cuz he lost smth and he was like gonna cry. I was busy, so rather flustered. Then, I had to meet ruin at the mrt station and I was already runnin late. Fine, dad got ready fast,even elliot did. BUT, since elliot could not find da thing still, dad spent time reprimanding him upstairs. I was downstairs at the verge of running out of da house and grabbing a cab to da mrt staion. But need to control ma spending. Felt so frustrated. And when I say I feel frustrated, it is not the norm kinda stuff that I get over quickly.
I have to admit that I have not felt this way fer YEARS. Yes, years. Like, outburst of anger. I USED to be like that. And something had changed in me after I have prayed over this issue time and again. But it came back this morning. I promise, IT WILL NOT STAY. I will not let this kinda anger stay in me. It is the devil who will be happy if I am in this state. I dun wan him to be happy. I want to be a pleasing child of God. neways, I was like, bottling everything up. Tryin to at least.
Finally! they came down, and I rushed into da car. Then when we got into da car? dad reprimanded me bout me leavin ma books outside of da house. Yes, I am wrong. But we were already so late, ruin was like rushing me. I had told her I would be there 'soon' like, 15mins ago? so, yeah. There I was, being extremely frustrated over the build up of all the events and worried cuz ruin is not one who likes to wait. And here I am being reprimanded about ma books?! oh my, what timing! I was so angry, but did not argue la. Too frustrated. If I DID argue back, I would not have been able to keep the vol. low. Also, it would not be respecting ma dad, and I was in the wrong after all. neways, I bit maself on da tongue to let pain 'distract' me. I always do that when I am that angry.
Ask ruin. Ma mum made me frustrated the other time, I went to punch da wall. Stupid rite? in the end, knuckles hurt and there was a blue black, these kinda things, I am not even sure if I shud post here. neways, need to get it off ma chest. So, yeah. I bit ma own tongue. Pain. But da pain did not last. Finally, when reach church, only ruin and I were in the room. I just started to say that I felt like screaming and punching something. Then, tears started to flow uncontrollably.
Lol. Now is da embarrasing part. Elhannah came in. I was so shocked. I immediately went to da ladies to wash ma face. Then told them I had to go popular to buy some stuffs. (i did not lie) As I was walkin to popular, tears kept comin. I was like tellin maself to stop it. Sayin it is jus a trival thing. 'What for get so upset? what happened to the peace loving, self controled anthea?' By the time I walked back, I was feelin more sad then angry le.
Well, that is better. I can handle sadness and depression. But anger? nope. Praying does help, but I still feel terrible. Unless the Lord speaks to me. After He spoke to me today, I did feel better. But I regretted some of the stuff I had said to ruin. Will of course NOT say what I told her. It was jus a statement of anger. Or rather, an expression. Oh God, please forgive me for I have sinned. =(
Then the rest of the day, I was like extremely mad. As in, crazy. Laugh for no reason, or came up with stupid jokes. When uncle CP shared devotion, I almost cried. Dunno why also. But I felt like the Lord had spoken to ma heart. It was about treating people nicely, and to forgive pple who have treated u badly. God is so amazing isnt he?
Thank God that gene came today. Finally got to give him that friendship band i bought like, almost one month ago. Lol. It is good to once see him again. It has been so long.. But altho a part of me was happy to see him, a part of me was still reelie sad cuz of what had happened.
Oh well, like what the Bible has said, let everything go after the sun sets. (I did not quote, cuz I dunno the exact verse and chapter.) Ok, for now until the time where the sun goes down, I am jus prayin and keepin ma peace. I reelie mean it now when I say to ya all,
peace.
-Will be back to norm tmr. With God's help I CAN-
Ok, I was NOT ok. I was gettin pissed cuz he lost smth and he was like gonna cry. I was busy, so rather flustered. Then, I had to meet ruin at the mrt station and I was already runnin late. Fine, dad got ready fast,even elliot did. BUT, since elliot could not find da thing still, dad spent time reprimanding him upstairs. I was downstairs at the verge of running out of da house and grabbing a cab to da mrt staion. But need to control ma spending. Felt so frustrated. And when I say I feel frustrated, it is not the norm kinda stuff that I get over quickly.
I have to admit that I have not felt this way fer YEARS. Yes, years. Like, outburst of anger. I USED to be like that. And something had changed in me after I have prayed over this issue time and again. But it came back this morning. I promise, IT WILL NOT STAY. I will not let this kinda anger stay in me. It is the devil who will be happy if I am in this state. I dun wan him to be happy. I want to be a pleasing child of God. neways, I was like, bottling everything up. Tryin to at least.
Finally! they came down, and I rushed into da car. Then when we got into da car? dad reprimanded me bout me leavin ma books outside of da house. Yes, I am wrong. But we were already so late, ruin was like rushing me. I had told her I would be there 'soon' like, 15mins ago? so, yeah. There I was, being extremely frustrated over the build up of all the events and worried cuz ruin is not one who likes to wait. And here I am being reprimanded about ma books?! oh my, what timing! I was so angry, but did not argue la. Too frustrated. If I DID argue back, I would not have been able to keep the vol. low. Also, it would not be respecting ma dad, and I was in the wrong after all. neways, I bit maself on da tongue to let pain 'distract' me. I always do that when I am that angry.
Ask ruin. Ma mum made me frustrated the other time, I went to punch da wall. Stupid rite? in the end, knuckles hurt and there was a blue black, these kinda things, I am not even sure if I shud post here. neways, need to get it off ma chest. So, yeah. I bit ma own tongue. Pain. But da pain did not last. Finally, when reach church, only ruin and I were in the room. I just started to say that I felt like screaming and punching something. Then, tears started to flow uncontrollably.
Lol. Now is da embarrasing part. Elhannah came in. I was so shocked. I immediately went to da ladies to wash ma face. Then told them I had to go popular to buy some stuffs. (i did not lie) As I was walkin to popular, tears kept comin. I was like tellin maself to stop it. Sayin it is jus a trival thing. 'What for get so upset? what happened to the peace loving, self controled anthea?' By the time I walked back, I was feelin more sad then angry le.
Well, that is better. I can handle sadness and depression. But anger? nope. Praying does help, but I still feel terrible. Unless the Lord speaks to me. After He spoke to me today, I did feel better. But I regretted some of the stuff I had said to ruin. Will of course NOT say what I told her. It was jus a statement of anger. Or rather, an expression. Oh God, please forgive me for I have sinned. =(
Then the rest of the day, I was like extremely mad. As in, crazy. Laugh for no reason, or came up with stupid jokes. When uncle CP shared devotion, I almost cried. Dunno why also. But I felt like the Lord had spoken to ma heart. It was about treating people nicely, and to forgive pple who have treated u badly. God is so amazing isnt he?
Thank God that gene came today. Finally got to give him that friendship band i bought like, almost one month ago. Lol. It is good to once see him again. It has been so long.. But altho a part of me was happy to see him, a part of me was still reelie sad cuz of what had happened.
Oh well, like what the Bible has said, let everything go after the sun sets. (I did not quote, cuz I dunno the exact verse and chapter.) Ok, for now until the time where the sun goes down, I am jus prayin and keepin ma peace. I reelie mean it now when I say to ya all,
peace.
-Will be back to norm tmr. With God's help I CAN-
2 comments:
haha..lol..y u regret saying those stuff u told me??huh?huh?? lol...verriii cuuurriiiouuussss...:P
i rushed u meh? i only ask where r u mah...cos u said soon but 15 mins later still havent come;) yah?
i feel rushed cuz I was stressed out mah. lol. not that la. I told u ONE thing that i regret. nvm. da past is da past. leave it be.
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